


Maybe You Can't Handle Yourself, Staring at Me With Your Lips and Tongue

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Bullying, Humanstuck, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mute!John, Muteness, Swearing, Warning: violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-04
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-10 08:08:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 42,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/783771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave Strider, a rebellious teenager, has grown up learning American Sign Language because of his half deaf brother. When John Egbert, who is mute, moves into the house next to him and starts public school for the first time in his life, it seems like fate that it would bring these two together so that Dave could help him through his school life as well as making friends. They could communicate, they were around the same age, and they were both teenage boys... too bad Dave kind of hates his guts at first. John’s not really too fond of this punk kid trying to be cool, either.... or perhaps he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i suppose the world has too many mute!john fics. but here is another one.  
> don't pretend that you don't love it, come on. you people eat this shit up, admit it. i know i do.  
> so hello, hi, i'm sam and i will be the provider of davejohn for this moment in time 
> 
> by the way, the title is from the song "bulls in the bronx" by pierce the veil. it's a really good song and even though it doesn't pertain much to the fic i still like it a bunch and i think song titles are cool. so yEAH.

Red. 

His lips are so red. 

You’d almost think he was wearing lip stain.... if you were dumb as hell. Obviously, you know he’s not, that he’s way too cool to wear fucking lipstick for women. That’s just stupid. 

You continue watching his lips as he raises a cigarette to them, inhaling smoothly, then waiting a bit before pursing his lips slightly and letting the air out steadily. You love those lips, you love them so goddamn much. You almost envy the smoke from the cigarette, they get to travel down into his lungs. Become a part of him, make an indent on him in physical way. You wish you could do that.... except you wish it was more of an positive emotional impact rather than a physical one. Anyone can make a negative physical indent on somebody, you see it happen everyday. You see these red, red lips scowling angrily as he hurts yet another person with physical actions. Anyone could also inflict negative emotional damage, with harsh, harsh words coming out at a rapid fire pace. Those words could cut straight through the skin and hurt something deeper. You’ve seen that kind of damage come out of these lips, as well. You’ve seen those lips curl slyly with harsh words. 

Those red, red lips belong to one of your best friends, Karkat Vantas. 

He’s 5’3, or rather, 5 foot and 3 inches of pure anger and terror, but nobody ever even dares to make fun of his height. He’ll rip you to shreds. 

He’s not always angry though, and that’s when you like him the best. You like him other times too, but the best when he’s not yelling. 

“What’s the matter, Strider? Why’re you staring... you want a drag?” He asks you, smirking and holding out the cigarette for you to take. You almost do, mainly because it’s been on his lips, but you don’t. Your mom would kill you if she smelled that shit in your breath. Besides, that would just end up in you coughing violently or throwing up, which is completely lame and Karkat and Terezi would never let it go. You’ve also never really felt the urge to try stupid shit like drugs or alcohol. 

Oh, by the way, if it wasn’t obvious enough, your name is Dave Strider and you are kind of in love with your best friend, Karkat. Who is also a huge fucking douche. 

You, Karkat, and your friend Terezi make up your fabulous group of three. So fucking fabulous. 

Though there are kids way more popular than the three of you, you’re well known on campus. 

You’re quite known because of Karkat. Karkat’s the leading man of the school, the one that everyone is afraid of. You’re afraid of him. Terezi is afraid of him. Everyone is afraid of him, but you find him terrifying in more of an endearing way. 

Terezi snorts. “Oh, please. Why even bother askin’? You know lil’ Strider is just going to deny it, it’ll upset his _mommy_.” 

Karkat smirks wider and doesn’t say anything, just stares at you with his dark eyes with tired freckles underneath them, flicking his dark orange hair out of his eyes. He’s redheaded, yes, but he pulls it off well, and damn if anyone would ever _dare_ make fun of Karkat Vantas in any way. Again, he’ll tear you to pieces. 

“Wouldn’t want to upset momma Strider, would ya, _David_?” 

You roll your eyes. “Whatever. You’re not a teenager forever. Have fucking fun dealing with lung cancer at 35.” 

Karkat grins mischievously. “I will, thanks.” 

It’s quiet once again while Karkat sucks on the last of his cigarette, flicking it to the ground with one final release of smoke through his nose. 

Your phone breaks the silence, and you look down to see that your brother texted you. 

TT: Hey, man. Mom wants you home now. Better stop hanging out with your douche friends and get your ass over here.

You flick your eyes up to Karkat, and thank god, he wasn’t reading your screen. You’re pretty sure he would freak out and try to hurt your brother or something if he saw that Dirk called him a douche. You close the text and pocket your phone, looking over at both Terezi and Karkat. 

“I need to go. Home stuff.” You shrug one shoulder, and Terezi smirks. 

“If ‘home stuff’ you mean ‘your mommy wants you home before it’s too late because poor Davey can get lost’, then feel free to leave.” 

Karkat snickers, and you swallow your frustration. You really hate it when they make fun of you because you actually _respect_ your mother. It’s quite disgusting. They don’t do it much, maybe every couple of months at the most, but today seems to be one of the days when they go all out with the stupid-ass taunting. 

“Aw, here’s a good idea, how about you shut the fuck up and let me not be a fucking dick to my mom. Just because I actually treat her nicely, it doesn’t make me a prick.” You snap, turning your back to them. You huff, then begin walking in the direction of your home. 

It’s silent before you hear Karkat call: “ _Ooooh!_ Kitty got claws!” After you, and you resist the urge to flip him off. 

You might be in love with him, but he sure is the dickest dick ever to dick and you know it. 

\--

When you finally arrive home, your mother is in the kitchen. She turns to you as you enter, smiling at you widely. You can’t help but smile back. Her bright eyes sparkle with happiness to see you and her so-blonde-it's-almost-white hair looks very lovely today. 

“Hey, Dave. How was your day?” 

You shrug. “It was fine, mom. How was yours?” 

“It was fine as well. Listen, I didn’t know this, but did you know that the Steelburgs are moving?” 

You, in fact, did not know this. The Steelburgs were your next door neighbors, and god, did they hate your family’s guts. You and your twin brother, Dirk, always sword fight outside to get frustration out.... which was basically almost every day. They always watched you from the window with a scowl, and they usually called your mother to complain. Your mom usually just rolled her eyes at their attempts to make you two to stop, mainly because she thought it was a good way to relieve stress and get exercise or something. Either way, she didn’t care, and they were always pissed. 

“I knew they would crack eventually and leave.” You say, then crack a smirk. “Nobody can get an eyeful of Strider and not like it. They are not human, I’m telling you.” 

“I’m sure, honey. Well, I believe they sold it so we should get new neighbors soon. Hopefully they appreciate their share of an ‘eyeful of Strider’.” 

You smile again then lean in to peck her on the cheek before sliding off your backpack on the counter and going into the living room to see your brother watching TV. You don’t know why he does that, judging since he can hardly hear a lot of things, but you suppose with the TV of full fucking blast so that the people in fucking Alaska could probably hear it loud and clear. 

You grab the remote next to him and mute the TV, looking over at Dirk with an eyebrow raised. 

“Don’t listen to the TV that loud, you dick.” You say, crossing your arms. 

Dirk looks at you with no emotion, almost as though he didn’t hear you. Which, granted, he probably didn’t. 

“Whaaaaaat? I can’t hear your dick voice, David Elizabeth, so you might want to speak up. Also, I was fucking watching that, turn it off of mute.” He says with that off-tone you’ve come to know and love, and you roll your eyes. 

Your brother, Dirk Strider, is half-deaf. Which means he could only hear you if you scream literally at the top of your lungs while your mouth is 2 centimeters away from his ear, so you like to think of him as fully deaf. Instead of using sign language to respond to people like any _normal_ deaf person, he prefers to use his actual voice when replying, which can really cause some issues, because, well.... he can’t hear his own voice. And when he can’t hear his own voice, it comes out with a strong lisp, and he’s quite off tune. So he kind of sounds mentally challenged. 

Nobody except for Karkat really ever makes fun of him, though, because they know he is a Strider. And they know that you’re very good friends with Karkat, and can easily get him to kick their ass. 

You sign ‘Don’t listen to the TV so loud. You’ll make me go deaf too’ to him.

You always have to sign things to your brother to communicate when you're not using your phones, so you’ve become quite fluent in American Sign Language. Dirk can read lips mostly during school, but it’s easier for him to read sign language with people who can actually do it. It puts less stress on him. 

“At least you’re all set to go with the sign language. It won’t be much different, you just won’t be able to listen to your stupid punk bands anymore.” 

You scowl at him then throw the remote into the dining room, then stomp off to go upstairs. You hear your brother’s loud lisp-y protests behind you, and you smirk. You love fucking around with him.

\--  
 _~fast forward about 3 months~_

As you crack your eyes open at 6:30, literally the BUTTCRACK of dawn, you want to scream. It’s saturday, it’s a fucking saturday, and you’re being woken by the sound of literally the fucking 100th moving truck dropping off more shit at the neighbors house. They aren’t here yet, obviously, but all their shit is coming in from god-knows-where. It’s actually kind of amazing how much fucking shit they own and how many trucks have come loudly rumbling past your house and dropping off yet another pile of stupid-ass chairs. You’re pretty sure they have a million chairs. How many god damn _butts_ do these people have oh my _god_ -

“Dave!” Your mother says brightly as she bursts into your room. She usually doesn’t wake you up, so this must be important. You’re already awake though, of course. 

You glare weary-eyed at her, and she begins to laugh. “Even Dirk woke up from the noise of the truck, believe it or not.” 

“That doesn’t surprise me, judging from the fact that it’s as loud as a goddamn nuclear explosion.” You state, rubbing your eyes tiredly. 

“Yeah, well, apparently that was the last one. Our new neighbors should be arriving soon! From word of it, they’re coming in today!” 

You groan. “Please tell me you’re not going over there with a home cooked meal to welcome them into the neighbor-” 

“I’m going over to their house with lasagna to welcome them to the neighborhood!” 

You groan again. “I’m not even going to ask if you’re forcing me to go or not, because the obvious answer is that-”

“You’re coming!” She finishes for you and grins, then closes the door shut. You take a deep breath, then release it sharply. 

\--

TG: yo man   
TG: do you want to hang today   
CG: I DON’T KNOW. LET ME CHECK MY LONG LIST OF BETTER PEOPLE TO HANG OUT WITH THEN YOU.   
CG: WHOOPS. RESULTS SHOW THAT EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSE BUT YOU WOULD BE BETTER TO HANG OUT WITH. SORRY.   
TG: ok  
TG: if youre done pretending that im not the broest bro ever to bro  
TG: what time will you be coming over  
CG: I’LL BE OVER THERE IN 30 MINUTES. PREPARE YOURSELF FOR ROYALTY.  
CG: AKA MAKE ME GOD DAMN FUCKING SNACKS. IF I'M BEING HONEST HERE, I ONLY HANG OUT WITH YOU FOR YOUR MOMS SNACKS.  
TG: mommy strider aint so bad now is she  
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET HER TO MAKE PIGS IN A FUCKING BLANKET. THOSE THINGS ARE THE SHIT TIMES TEN.   
CG: OKAY I’M FUCKING OUT. GOTTA MAKE MYSELF LOOK PRETTY FOR THE STRIDER HOUSEHOLD. DON’T BOTHER ME.   
TG: aw baby but youre always beautiful  
CG: OH MY FUCKING GOD. NO. SHUT UP. I’M OUT. 

You grin as you pocket your phone. You love teasing that asshole. 

30 minutes later, as promised, Karkat shows up at your door, scowl intact. You’re not even kidding when you say 30 minutes later. 

Karkat has a tendency to show up at the EXACT time that you state. Like, if you casually say, oh, come over at 7:30... he’ll be there at exactly 7:30. You’re about 99% sure he gets there 5 minutes early and stands there until it’s exactly that time. You laugh at the thought, what if he just _stands_ there and looks at his phone every couple of seconds...

“The fuck you laughing at?” Karkat asks, scowl increasing. 

You shrug a shoulder. “Your lame face.” 

Karkat exaggeratedly rolls his eyes. You’re pretty sure you and Terezi are the only people in the history of humankind that are able to tease him, or else he gets bitchy x10. 

“Whatever, move it.” Karkat states, pushing past you to get to the kitchen. 

“Yo, I’m starting to think you only hang out with me for my food.” 

“You’re just figuring that out _now_? Jesus, Strider. You’re slower then I thought.” Karkat says, crossing his arms and turning to look at you. You know he’s only teasing, but you see your mom popping her head out from the kitchen entryway looking at you pointedly. 

Okay, so you really don’t like inviting Karkat to your house. First of all, Karkat isn’t _horrible_ to your mother, but he still isn’t polite to her. Second of all, he’s quite rude to your brother. 

The two of you pass your living room where Dirk is positioned doing his homework. Karkat pauses in the doorway, looking at your brother with his arms still crossed. 

“Doing your homework early? Loser.” Karkat states, and Dirk looks up. 

“What?” Dirk says, looking at you for help. 

You’re about to sign that it wasn’t anything when Karkat interrupts you. “I said you were a loser.” 

Now, Karkat knows that your brother is deaf- you’ve _told_ him many times- but he still talks to Dirk as though he could hear him perfectly fine. And read his scowling lips perfectly fine as well. You think he’s teasing.... you... think?

Dirk is staring at his lips. “I only caught the last word. Loogie. That’s pretty sick, dude. But, if that’s what you’re into, I don’t judge.” Dirk states, then looks back down at his homework. 

Karkat turns back to you scowling even more. “Your brother is an idiot that talks like a toddler.” 

You try your best not to get offended. “Dude, I’ve told you like a million fucking times, he’s _deaf_.” 

He shrugs. “Don’t care. Let’s get food now.” 

\--

After you and Karkat ate like, fucking 30 pigs in a blanket each, your mother comes up to you. 

“Dave! Guess who just arrived!” She says excitedly, holding her lasagna. You groan. 

You hear Karkat containing his laughter to the left of you, and you take a deep breath. “So we’re going now?” 

She casts a quick glance at Karkat. “Well... hopefully soon.” 

You think you know what she means. “Karkat, we have to talk to the neighbors. I’ll talk to you later.” 

Karkat blinks. “Oh, uh, okay. I’ll see you later then. Thanks for the food, mommy Strider.” Karkat says with a smirk, then turns to leave your house. 

When he’s out of hearing range, your mother turns to you. “I really don’t like that boy.” She says in an irritated tone, and you look up at her. 

“I do.” 

\--

5 minutes later, you and your mother are out the door and heading over to the neighbors home. You notice that the packing is completely done, and it looks pretty normal and nice. With the new furniture in the window, it looks almost... _homey_. Wow.

You finally arrive at the door, and your mother knocks briskly, holding the lasagna excitedly. You repress the urge to sigh deeply and push your shades up on your face. 

Shortly, a tiny woman in with short black hair opens the door, wearing a nice apron. “Oh, hello.” The women says, blinking owlishly at you and your mother. 

“Hi! We’re your new neighbors. My name is Roxanne and this is my son, David.” 

You sigh this time. “It’s Dave. Nice to meet you.” You say shortly. 

The woman breaks out into a huge smile. “Hello there, Roxanne and Dave! I’m Jane. Wait a minute- John! John! Come here for a moment!” 

It’s awkwardly silent for a moment before a short boy wearing a dark blue hoodie comes to the side of Jane. He has similar hair to Jane, but more boyish you assume. And it’s very bed-headish. 

His eyes match his dark blue hoodie, and you can see a slight overbite under his very pink lips. They’re pink, not red, you note. 

You suppose he’s sort of attractive in a super nerdy way, you guess, but he looks pretty scared right now. He's not really _that_ attractive, you decide. His teeth are kind of weird.

His mother goes on about how his name was John or whatever and how she was his grandmother and how he was 17. He’s the same age as you, apparently. Hmm. 

She’s still blabbering on about how he was homeschooled or something, but you’re not listening. You’re too busy staring at this John kid. His eyes are glued to the ground and he’s biting his lip softly, his hands dug deep into the pocket of his hoodie. Not much skin is revealed besides his head, and that leads you to believe that they came from somewhere cold. You don’t know how he is standing this Texas heat with that hoodie, because you’re dying right now and you’re wearing a light long sleeved shirt. 

You cut off whatever his grandmother was saying and talk directly to John. “How can you wear that? It’s fucking 90 degrees out here, _John_.” You say his name like it’s a terminal disease. 

His eyes shoot up from their spot on the ground to stare at you with wide eyes. He opens his mouth and.... nothing comes out. Then he closes it and looks back down at the ground. It’s silent for a good 50 seconds, then Jane laughs awkwardly. 

“John can’t speak. He was, um...” She trails off. “Long medical story short, he’s can't talk. He's mute.” 

You raise your eyebrows, while your mother squeals. “Oh! Does he do sign language?” 

Jane nods, and your mother grins. “Really? Because David here is able to do fluent American Sign Language. His brother and my other son, Dirk, is deaf and we both know it perfectly.” 

Jane lights up. “Oh, really? That’s wonderful! Perhaps John here finally has someone that he can talk to that’s his own age!” 

You take in John’s kind-of nerdiness. Nope. That’s not happening. 

“Is he going to Gutterman High School just around the block?” Your mother asks, and Jane nods. 

“Oh, is Dave going there as well? I have a great idea! What if Dave helps him out and walks him from class to class. Oh, and they could walk to and from home together as well! It would help out John so much, he could feel welcome here!” 

You repress the urge to scream. NOPE. THAT’S NOT HAPPENING. 

“That’s a great idea, isn’t it David?” Your mother asks, grinning. You’re about to say “No, FUCK no.” when your mother slightly narrows her eyes at you. 

Oh no. You know that look. It’s her “agree with me or you’re fucked” look, and you gulp. You silently plead “NOOOOO” in your eyes, but your mother chooses to ignore you. 

What choice do you have?

“Yeah.” You say weakly, and your mom smirks slightly. You learned your evil side from your mom, that’s for sure. 

“Oh, golly! This is working out wonderfully, thank you so much Dave!” Jane coos, and you try not to fall on the ground and die. Your social life is over. You’re going to end up friendless and alone because of this fucking kid, and you know it. His overbite is just _asking_ to be made fun of, and you’re going to have to be _seen_ with this kid? You’re the loser. It’s you. 

Your mother and his grandmother are continuing the discussion and what will happen, and you look over at John to see him staring at you. You stare back, not backing down, and you see him smile a bit at you, trying to get friendly.... you guess. 

You narrow your eyes and deepen your scowl turning your head slightly as if to deny his approach of friendliness. You see the smile wipe clean off his face, and you repress the urge to smirk. 

Eventually, Jane and your mother are finished talking, and when they finally say goodbye, the four of your go your separate ways. You don’t even cast a second glance at John. 

As you walk back to your house, you turn to scowl at your mother. “I can’t believe you signed me up for that. I’m not a fucking _charity_ case.” 

Your mother turns to frown at you. “Don’t swear, Dave. Also, I thought you’d be happier to help someone out.” 

“Why would I ever be happy to ‘help someone out’?!” You whine, and your mom crosses her arms. 

“I thought you were nicer than that, Dave. I thought you were better.” 

Oh _god_ , she’s pulling the disappointed card. And worst of all- it’s working. You grumble an apology, and your mom smiles triumphantly. She’s good at what she does, and she knows it. 

“I think you and John will become good friends.” 

You snort. “Yeah, right, _that’ll_ happen. I think that’s impossible. It’s almost as impossible as Dirk ever getting an actual friend.” 

So apparently John has a cousin named Jake that moved here with him, as you find out later on. You will eventually eat your words- the whole fucking sentence. All in a matter of time. But for now, you have a feeling you and John were NOT going to get along well at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sad chapter :// poor john aw

“Dave!” Your mom calls up the stairs. “Time for school!” 

Your eyes crack open, and _no_ is the only word in your mind. First of all, you honestly hate school... mainly because you have to try. You get pretty good grades, and the only reason is because you don’t want to end up on the streets. So you may listen to some pretty hardcore music, and have a small amount of piercings and a hardcore exterior, but you still want to get a decent future. 

Second of all, you had to walk with Derpy Mc. Derpatron today, AKA John. 

You hope to fucking god that Karkat and Terezi doesn’t see you walking with him, dear lord. You’d probably never hear the end of it, and they’d probably stop being friends with you. 

You stand up, sighing. Hopefully your mom forgot about it and you don’t have to walk with him. 

You throw on the same skinny jeans you’ve been wearing for literally the past 5 months and a dark grey short sleeved shirt with a band you like written across it. You look in the mirror and run a hand through your blonde hair a few times, trying to make it look a bit less messy and a bit more fluffy. You don’t try to make it nice, though. You want to give off the impression that you literally don’t give a shit about anything. 

As you walk downstairs, you pray that your mother will leave you off the hook. If there was a god, he would let you not lose all of your friends because of some dumb mute kid-

“Hey, Dave! Ready to walk John to school today?” 

......

Life never ceases to disappoint you. 

 

**====== > John: Get ready for your first day of actual school**

Your name is John Egbert, and before we get into this whole school business, you should probably introduce yourself. 

You are, obviously, named Jonathan Egbert, and you are mute. 

You honestly wish you could say some bullshit story about how you got beaten as a child and you refused to talk since then, but that isn’t the case. You wish you had a _good_ reason you can’t talk, maybe some story that would make people pity you and find you _deep_ and _interesting_. But nope, the reason you can’t talk is a physical one rather than a mental one.

Long story short, you were born with a problem in your vocal chords, and for some god damned reason they won’t vibrate and make noise enabling you to speak. 

You’ve never been able to speak your whole life. You envy the people who can, you wish you could be able to have some sort of fucking noise come out of you. 

Again, back the to the topic at hand, you honestly wish you had a reason. You know that sounds horrible, wishing something horrible to happen to you, but at least you’d have some peace knowing that there is a reason you’re a freak of nature. You have no such peace, and it plagues you everyday that if there was a god he’d make you like this, make you so that you were different for no reason. Other than that, you’re perfectly healthy. Everything about you is perfectly fine, and you wonder why it has to be you. Why must you be different in a drastic way? You wouldn’t ever be able to communicate with almost everyone in the world. You can’t say “I love you” to your own _grandmother_ , much less if you ever find someone who is able to put up with your shit. You know you’re going to end up alone, who could ever love a boy who can’t talk? 

You live with only your grandmother. Maybe another reason you’d be mute is some story about your parents dying in a car crash, but again, the truth is far from that. Your parents work in Hong Kong for some fancy company, and you only see them about twice a year. Once during your birthday, and once during christmas. It’s awkward when they come home, though. It’s mainly silence when you all sit down together for dinner or whatever normal families do.

No pun intended since you can’t fucking speak, but you’re pretty sure it’d still be quiet even if you could talk. You don’t really mind, though, your grandmother is more than enough of a parental guidence in your life, and since they work for a fancy company they send home a shit ton of money so you can buy video games to pass the time. 

Until this year, your grandmother homeschooled you. She can’t do it anymore because, obviously, she is getting older and needs to watch her stress level, you being #1 on the list of things to stress about. So to make her life a lot easier, you’re just going to attend public school. You moved to Texas from Washington for this reason- new state, new environment, new people. It’s going to be hard and you know it. 

Well, you _did_ know it, until you saw that your neighbor could do sign language and talk to you, and that kinda filled you with hope. 

You would be lying if you said you weren’t instantly attracted to him. 

Okay, not in _that_ way, but attracted to him in a sense that he looked like an interesting person and good best friend material. You’ve never had a friend that wasn’t from the internet or a made up one from your video games or mind, so really even a fucking serial killer would be good friend material.

So when you came to your grandmothers side and got an eyeful of this new person, you were filled instantly with excitement. But it really didn’t last long, because he was standing there with a scowl and his arms crossed, looking less than happy to see you. 

Instant disappointment is washed over you, and you look down at the ground. Really, what were you doing thinking that things could actually go your way for once. Nothing was really ever good in your life. You shouldn’t complain because fuck, you’re healthy and middle class and you get practically whatever you want, but goddamn it if you can’t fucking feel bad about yourself. 

When he asks you the question, you open your mouth as to speak. You don’t know why you did it, never in any fucking point in your life were you ever able to speak, but you’ve been watching them talk and you guess your body assumed you could. Embarrassed, you shut your mouth and you hear your nanna explain how you were mute. You feel like you want run, because they know now. They aren’t under the influence that you’re a normal boy anymore. 

You hear his mother and your grandmother talk for longer and you tune it out, sneaking a peek up at this new kid. You don’t know his name yet, but he sure is something different. 

He has his lip pierced on either side of his mouth, his nose has a ring in his left nostril, and his eyes are covered with sunglasses. His hair is very blonde, almost to the point where it was white, and he was quite scrawny... like, really scrawny. His thighs are very small, and he looks almost boney. You’d almost think he was underfed... if it didn’t fit him well. You decide it’s probably a natural thing. 

He’s wearing a long sleeved baseball shirt, and his hands are stuffed in his pockets angrily.

Your eyes meet, and you offer a small smile to this boy. If possible, he scowls even deeper and turns his head slightly as if rejecting you, and you feel as though you’ve been shot in the stomach. 

He’s just like the rest of them, he’s no fucking different. He thinks you’re a freak of nature. 

And to be honest, you’re convinced you are as well. 

Eventually they stop talking, and your nanna takes you back into the house. The kid doesn’t even look back at you, and you would scream at him if you could. Or call him a huge fucking douche, either one. 

After she shuts the door, she turns to you. 

“Did you hear what she said?” Your nanna asks you excitedly, and you shake your head no. 

“They said that Dave would help you around school!” She says, smiling, and you peak an eyebrow. 

‘Was Dave that boy?’ You sign, and your grandmother nods. 

“Yes, he’s your age, did you know that? He agreed to walk you to and from school, and to every class! Isn’t that very sweet of him?” 

You wish you could snort. ‘He didn’t look too excited.’ 

“Well, honey, I just bet he’s a bit sore because it’s a bit of work, but I’m sure he’ll warm up to you!” 

‘I doubt it.’ 

“Oh John, I bet the two of you would become the bestest of friends.” 

‘Ha. I’m sure that’ll happen.’ 

\--

As you wake up the next morning, you let out a long breath. Today was going to be super fucking awkward, and you know it. You’re going to have to walk with that Dave kid, and he’s probably going to hate you. You honestly wish for once in your life you’d have some sort of luck with your personal life. 

You throw on another heavy hoodie and some jeans, looking in the mirror. Dark circles ring the underpart of your eyes, and you look as pathetic as you feel. 

You walk quietly downstairs, looking up at your nanna in the kitchen. You knock the wall next to the entrance of the kitchen to get her attention, and wave a bit. You always have to knock when you enter, because if you just sneak up on her like that she’d probably have a heart attack. You even walk quietly, so she’d never hear you coming. It’s like your existence is silent. 

She waves back at you, smiling brightly. 

“Hey, John! I made you breakfast and lunch for your first day of school!” 

You smile a tiny bit and walk over to see what she made. Pancakes, and your lunch is in a bag. 

You grab the bag and place it in your backpack, taking the plate of pancakes and signing a thanks before sitting down and shoving pancakes into your mouth. 

You’re in the middle of literally shoving the literal form of fucking lord christ in pancake form down your throat when you hear a brisk knock at the door. 

“I’ll get it.” Your nanna tells you, and walks over to open the door. 

You look over and see Dave leaning against the frame of the door, shades on the edge of his nose and an emotionless expression. 

“Oh, hello, Dave! It’s so very kind of you to do this for John, really. You’re a very kind person.” 

“It’s no problem, Jane. If I can call you that?” He says slyly, and your nanna giggles. 

You roll your eyes. So he’s the charmer, huh? 

“Of course you can, sweetie. John is in the kitchen finishing up his breakfast, feel free to come in.” 

So Dave walks in, standing in the living room and looking around. 

“Nice place you got here.” He comments, and you want to punch him right in his stupid face. He looks so _smug_ , like he has this permanent “I'm the shit” attitude and it’s fucking bullshit. 

“Why thank you, Dave! You’re very sweet! By the way, John will be finished eating a bit, so hang tight there.” 

“Will do, Jane.” Your nanna giggles again. You kind of really dislike Dave right now. 

You finally finish the pancakes and shove your plate noisily to get your nanna’s attention. She walks over to pick it up from in front of you, and you push back your chair to stand up. 

Dave raises his eyebrows from over his shades when you walk over to him, backpack slung over one shoulder, and you give him an (obvious) distasteful one-over, looking at him with exaggerated disinterest. 

“You ready to go, _John_?” He asks, exaggerating your name, and wow the biggest douche in the world goes to.... 

You sign ‘As ready as I’ll ever fucking be’, and you see Dave smirk slightly. 

He turns without another word and heads out the door, not looking back to see if you were following. 

You walk quickly behind him, trying to keep up with his long strides. He still doesn’t look back, and you finally catch up to him. 

You walk in silence, and you decide you kind of want to get to know this kid. 

You tap his shoulder and get ready sign something but... he doesn’t turn to look at you. In fact, he turns his head slightly away from you. You’re beginning to hate when he fucking does that. 

You tap his shoulder again, and he still doesn’t acknowledge you. He just _ignores_ you, and wow, he’s a huge dick. 

You silently scoff, then cross your arms and look away. The rest of the walk is again in silence, and when you get to the school, little has changed. 

“Just walk into that building and go into the main office. They’ll help you find your first classroom and shit.” He says gruffly to you, and you raise an eyebrow. 

‘Why can’t you do it yourself?’ You sign, but he isn’t looking. He just ignores you and walks off to join the group of people talking and lounging outside of the school. 

You’re kind of confused for a moment before you realize he was embarrassed to be seen with you. You feel your cheeks heat up as you walk alone into the school, almost everybody staring at you and wondering if they’ve seen you before. 

You finally make it inside and to the main office, where they give you brisk directions to your class after you had to write down your question and hand them the note saying you’re mute. You have to give that to every fucking teacher today, woop-ti-fucking-do. 

After 20 minutes of being completely fricking lost, you hear the bell ring and people file in. You freak out, because now you _really_ have to find the new classroom or you’re screwed. You can’t ask anybody for help either, because that’d take forever to write down and shove in their face. 

Finally, you get your only stroke of luck today and spot it. You breathe a sigh of relief and run over to walk into the class. 

It’s already almost full, you being one of the last people to come in, and you walk over awkwardly to the teacher. 

It’s dead silent in the room, everybody staring at you, and you walk over to the male teacher in his 40’s. 

You wave awkwardly, and he raises his eyebrows. 

“What can I do for you?” 

You hand out the note for him to take, and he takes it and puts it down on his desk without reading it. You feel terror take over you as he continues looking up at you. 

“What is your name?” He asks, and you point to the note. 

“Yes, I see you gave me a note, but what is your name?” 

You point desperately to the note, and he continues to wait for your answer. Frustrated, you pull your backpack off of your shoulders and search around for your notebook to and a pen to write down your words, but he stops you. 

“I just want to know your name, okay?” 

You hear a few snickers going around the class, and your face beings to heat up. What the heck is wrong with this dude, why won’t he read your note? 

You continue pointing at the note, and feel embarrassed tears threaten to breakthrough and spill over your cheeks, but you refuse to get upset in front of everybody. 

Finally, he heaves an exaggerated sigh, and looks down to read the note. After he’s done, he looks up at you and laughs awkwardly. You’re currently glaring at him with all the hate you can muster without words. 

“Oh, you’re the new student.... I apologize for that, I didn’t know you were, um... unable to speak.” 

You feel the eyes of the students boring into you and wow, he just HAD to say that in front of everybody. You hate him already. 

He tells you to take a seat in the front, and you slide down in your seat awkwardly, hearing the flurry of whispers going around the class. You know they’re about you, and your face heats up even more. You feel as though you’re going to cry again. 

Finally, the teacher begins teaching, and wow, you just fucking HAD to move during the middle of the school year. You have no idea what they’re talking about, and even though the teacher handed you a bunch of packets on what they did, you still are so fucking confused on what the hell he was talking about. 

When class is finally over, you feel like ripping out your hair and sobbing. You feel fucking stupid and useless, you have no idea what they’re _talking about_.

When you walk out, you’re surprised to see Dave waiting next to the door. 

“Wow, _John_ , don’t look so surprised.” 

You huff then hesitantly begin walking with him to your next class. 

“So,” He begins, “you look happy. I bet you made a TON of new friends in your first class, am I right? You look like friend material. I bet you have a ton of friends already, you ladies man you.” 

You stop dead in your tracks and look up at Dave with something that can only be described at utter hatred. He just grins at you, then leans in to pat you harshly on the arm. You cringe. 

“You’re going to go real far here, Mr. Popular.” Dave says harshly, laughing. 

You feel the events of last period flash back in your mind, and suddenly, it’s too much. 

You look around frantically for the mens bathroom, and thank god when you see one at the end of the hall. You run away from Dave and into the bathroom, running into one of the stalls and throwing up all the pancakes from this morning. 

When you’re done, you wipe your mouth and flush the toilet, sitting back on your heels, your eyes watering quickly. Before you can stop it, tears are running down your face at a rapid pace and you’re silently sobbing, no sound being made except for the fast and rapid intakes of your breath. 

You hate this school already, you hate it so fucking much. 

\--

When you finally collect yourself together, you leave the bathroom. The hallways are deserted, as expected, and Dave is nowhere in sight. As also expected. 

You make it through the rest of the day fine, you manage to find most of your classes fine, and none of the other teachers really give you trouble. 

At the end of the day, you wait next to the exit, hoping Dave will find you and walk you home. 

He doesn’t. 

You sigh and begin your walk home alone, hoping you remember the way back and you don’t get horribly lost. 

Almost everybody is gone except for a couple of people hanging out outside of the school. 

You ignore them, not really giving a shit anymore, when you hear a voice calling over to you. 

“Hey! Hey you!” The voice calls, and you stop, looking over to see someone walking over to you. 

He has red-ish brown hair and dark freckles, and an angry twisted smirk on his face. You feel your heart go up in your throat as he stops in front of you. 

“You new here?” He asks, and you nod hesitantly. 

“Hm. New meat, I like that.” He says absently, then pokes harshly at your shoulder. 

“What’s your name?” He asks, crossing his arms with a bored expression. You don’t know why he’s bored, judging since he’s the one who came up to YOU, but nevertheless he looks completely unamused. 

You shift from one foot to the other, looking away as the awkward silence rings because you _can’t say anything._

“Well?” He asks impatiently, a scowl growing. You gulp, then point to your throat. 

‘I can’t talk’ you mouth to him, and he looks confused. 

“What?” He asks, and you mouth ‘I can’t talk’ again. He apparently still can’t understand, because his scowl becomes furious. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He spits. “Answer when you’re spoken to!” He shoves your shoulder harshly, and you stumble backwards. He takes a step forward. 

“Are you gonna talk now?” He asks, and you shake your head wildly, mouthing ‘I can’t talk’ over and over again. 

He makes a frustrated sound and pushes you onto the ground. You land hard on your back, the concrete digging into your spine. You see him bend over to glare at you, and holy shit, you’ve never been more scared in your life. 

“Fucking talk!” He yells, and you choke back the sobs threatening to rise up. 

You look to the side of him to the people behind, and holy fucking shit, Dave is sitting right there. 

Relief spreads in you, and you look straight at Dave, using your eyes to beg for him to help. He looks at you like he’s confused, and it finally hits you. He’s acting like he doesn’t know you. 

You’re too caught up in staring at Dave to notice the guy screaming above you, then you’re brought back to reality with a harsh kick to your side. 

The air wooshes out of you, and you stare up at your attacker in horror. He’s seething with rage, and he kicks you again right in the same spot so it hurts even worse. 

“What the ever loving fuck is wrong with you? Are you being a fucking cunt on purpose or are you just a freak of nature?!” He yells at you, and you stiffen. 

_”Freak of nature”_ rings in your head, and you feel the tears bubbling up in your eyes. 

“Aw look, he’s fucking crying. How pathetic.” He spits, then kicks you in the ribs. You silently cry out, breathing proving impossible with your ribs aching. 

“I’m going to keep hitting you until you make a noise.” He says, narrowing his eyes at you. 

He’s going to be here forever, your brain idly notes, and he begins kicking you without a pause. 

You look over at Dave while the boy keeps kicking you, locking eyes with him. 

You feebly bring up your hands and sign: ‘Help me’. 

He ignores you.

“What the fuck is he doing with his hands?” Karkat groans. “He’s a fucking psychopath, ugh.” 

He brings up his foot to kick you square in the jaw, and you cry out without a noise. 

You keep signing ‘help me’ until he hurts you so bad that you can’t bear to keep your arms up anymore. 

Eventually you just curl up into a ball, and 3 minutes later, the kicking finally stops. 

“Whatever.” He snarls. “We’ll continue this later.” He states to you, then turns around. 

“Let’s go, dickwads.” The boy states, then walks in the direction away from the school. 

You weakly bring your head to watch as they begin to abscond. You see Dave pause, looking long and hard at you. You look back, praying he’ll say something or help you get up and walk you home, _something_ to help. 

He turns around and follows the boy and the girl. 

You lay on the ground for another 10 minutes before you gather the strength to drag yourself off of the ground and limp slowly home. 

By the time you get home it’s 7 o’clock at night, and your grandmother opens the door and practically screams. 

“John? What happened?! Oh my _god_ I was going to call the police-” 

She notices your beaten up exterior, and she covers her mouth with her hands. “Who did this?!” She says with terror, and you painfully shrug a shoulder and push past her to get to your room. 

She follows you demanding for you to tell her, but she eventually gives up. It’s not like she can _make_ you talk, that’d be very hard to force a mute person to sign something. 

She warns you that she’s going to make you talk tomorrow, and you think, yeah, fat chance. 

You don’t want to seem weak, you can handle this. You’ll be okay. You don’t want them to think as you of both a freak of nature and a baby. 

_Freak of nature_ rings in your head again. That’s what you are, you’re a freak of fucking nature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah, i hope this wasn't too sad! it'll be kind of sad but it'll eventually get a bit better slowly  
> thank you sosoosososo much for reading, i got a few things to say.  
> okay, first of all, comments make my life and leaving one would be lovely  
> second, woooooah check it out i cosplayed jade pls check it out and reblog it if you have a tumblr here: http://johnegdaddy.tumblr.com/post/49713434904/sometimes-i-cosplay-jade  
> follow me too if you want to :---)) ily all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, hey!  
> woop. this chapter got details into why things are happening, and oooo john gets some friends!!!! good things!!!!  
> check the end for some news!!!!!!

**===== >Dave: Be the huge douche**

Your name is Dave Strider, and you’re a huge douche. Well, you don’t realize it just yet. 

Okay, so you realize it a _little_. Yesterday, watching Karkat beat the shit out of John kind of sparked some guilt in you. Watching him sign for you to help him and watch him cry and do nothing about it.... you’re not totally heartless. You went to bed that right feeling pretty guilty and crappy, but it’s not like there was much you can do. If you told Karkat to stop, he’d probably throw a hissy fit on _you_ , and you don’t want that. 

You get up this morning with just as much of a struggle as yesterday, because you’re kinda worried to see what John’s reaction will be to you being a huge dick yesterday. You hope he doesn’t get too upset, but then again, do you really care?..... no. 

You sit up in bed, rubbing your eyes and sighing. You really don’t want to do today, nope, today is not happening. 

By the time you get downstairs, you’re aware of the fact that you’re very off schedule, and your mom is standing at the bottom of the stairs with her arms crossed. 

“You’re late.” Your mom says, and you shrug. 

“Oops.” You say, bored, and she rolls her eyes. 

“Whatever. John is in the kitchen. He’s not looking too good.” 

You pause. Uh oh. 

“What happened to him?” 

You shrug. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, so I can’t help you there.” Then you push past her and into the kitchen, and thank fucking god, she leaves the topic alone. 

In the kitchen you’re met by the image of John crossing his arms and looking anywhere but you, a pissed off expression written on his face. There’s a huge bruise on his jaw, and you kind of wince. That’s gotta hurt. 

“Dave, hurry up and eat so you and John can leave.” 

You nod then slip past John to take a banana. After you’re done, you grab your backpack from the floor and look up at John. 

“Ready?” You ask hesitantly, and you see him nod ever so slightly, still not looking at you. 

The two of you then set out, walking out the door together. Your mother yells goodbye after you. 

As you walk, you notice that John still has his arms crossed and he’s looking away from you. You suppose this is him trying to show that he’s angry, but to be honest, you could care less if he’s angry at you. You look away as well, and it’s silent and still for another couple of minutes before you feel a tap on your shoulder. 

You narrow your eyes without looking in his direction, because ugh, you REALLY don’t want to talk to him right now. 

You feel him tap again, harder this time, and you continue to ignore him. Finally, he stops, but after a couple seconds you feel a rough push to your side. You practically trip into the street, almost getting ran over by a car. You straighten up and look over at John, whose fists are balled up on his side and a huge angry expression is plastered on his face. You really didn’t think he’d be capable of his face, but right now he’s giving you look that would make even _Karkat_ back down. 

“What the fuck dude?!” You yell anyway, ignoring his intimidating facial expression. “You almost pushed me into fucking traffic!” 

John unclenches his fists and brings up his hands to sign: ‘What the fuck was that yesterday?’ 

You cross your arms. “I don’t know what you mean.” 

John lurches forward and pushes you again, harder this time, and you again almost trip. 

‘You know what I mean. What the hell is wrong with you?’ 

“I didn’t do anything!” 

‘That’s the fucking point! You didn’t help me when your friend was practically killing me! Who was that dick?’ 

“That ‘dick’ was my best friend. And I’m not responsible for what my friends do to you, it’s not me so you can go fend for your fucking self.” 

You see John release a deep breath. ‘Some fucking friends you got there.’ 

“I choose my friends, you choose yours.” 

Neither of you do anything for a moment, then John signs something. ‘All I ask for you to do is to walk me from class to class and home, and I won’t bother you anymore.’ 

You look away. “I don’t know.” 

He shoves your shoulder to get your attention. ‘If I’m such an embarrassment to you, we can wait until everyone leaves. I don’t even care anymore.’ John’s angry expression melted into one more... tired, you guess. 

“I....” You trail off. 

‘If you don’t, I’ll tell your mom that you let this happen to me.’ 

You snort weakly. “What are you, six? Seriously, you’re going to tell my mom on me? Real mature.” But to be honest, you are actually really scared. You don’t know what you’d do if she found out about how you’re part of the mean group- she regards you with a lot of kindness and respect, and that’s the only thing that really makes you feel as though you matter anymore. 

‘Try me.’ 

You bite your lip. “Fine, fuck you for blackmailing me.” 

John smirks a bit and nods, then looks away. You have a feeling that things still aren’t going to work out great for him, even with you at his side.

\--

During school, you bring him around to every class like you promised. Lucky for you, neither Karkat nor Terezi saw you, so you’re still in the clear. You don’t know for how much longer, though. You really hope you don’t lose them because of John, you will honestly never forgive this god damned kid. 

It’s almost the end of the day, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t sort-of nervous. You knew for a fact Karkat and Terezi hung out outside of the school after it was over, so obviously they were outside and probably waiting for you. You don’t know how they are going to react when they see John with you, though. Either way- it’s going to end badly. 

Okay, so maybe you’re a little bit worried for John. He’s not BAD, he’s just... not really your type of person, you guess? You’re just worried for his safety- they can really hurt him. Maybe you should explain that he’s mute.....

But then they’ll think you're on his side, and you’ll lose them. UGH. This was all fucking bullshit, and you hate Karkat in that moment for being a bullying dick. Oh, but you love him. 

When the bell rings and pulls you out of your thoughts, you check the copy of John’s schedule that was given to you the first day you met him and find his last class. He’s waiting outside the door with a nervous look on his face, and it melts a bit when he catches sight of you. You feel guilt wash over you. Poor kid, he doesn’t know that you’re on their side. 

You take a deep breath and nod at him before turning around and leading him out of the building. 

When you step outside, everyone is almost gone. Everyone except for two people. 

“Hey! Hey Stri-douche!” The voice calls over, and you freeze up a bit. This is the part where things get bad.... really bad. 

You see Karkat running over to you, and when he catches sight of John, he freezes. Oh crap, oh _crap_...

“What is this freak doing with you?” He asks, disbelief evident in his tone, and John looks up at Karkat, blue eyes radiating fear. 

You’re caught between John and Karkat, wondering which side you should go to and oh GOD oh G O D...

“I don’t know.” You finally say without thinking. “He followed me out here.” 

“Hm.” Karkat says, crossing his arms and looking at John without nothing short of pure distaste. “Do you want me to get rid of him for you?” 

You see John give you a look of horror from your side vision, like he can’t believe you’d betray him like this. He’s not a very quick learner, is he? You’re not here to fucking help him, you’re not his saint. You didn’t sign up for this. 

You shrug one shoulder carelessly. “Um, dude, I don’t think it’s really necessary-” 

“Just get lost you fucking idiot!” Karkat suddenly snaps at you, and you shrink down. Ow. It kind of fucking hurts when someone you love yells at you, so you just walk away from John and Karkat and go over to sit next to Terezi, who is watching the fight. 

“I dunno what Karkat has against that kid.” Terezi says at you sit next to her, and you snort weakly. 

“Me neither. He’s being a huge douche to.... that kid, and it’s just dumb. Why beat up someone who hasn’t even did anything... much less _say_ anything about him?” 

Terezi pauses, then bites her lip. “Don’t told him I told you but... Karkat’s been having some trouble at home again lately.” 

You look up at her at that. Terezi and Karkat have always been closer, they’ve been best friends since god knows when. You were the newest member of their two person group, so sometimes you know he tells things to Terezi that he never tells you. 

“Is his dad giving him trouble again?” You ask hesitantly, and Terezi slightly nods. 

“He’s been acting worse than ever before... he’s drinking more. I think this is a way for Karkat to get his frustration and sadness out.” 

You look over at Karkat and John, and finally Karkat strikes out on John. He knocks his feet out from under him, and John goes crashing to the ground. You kind of wince, because even if you don’t show it most of the time, you _do_ have a heart, and you know poor John doesn’t deserve to be Karkat’s punching bag. 

You see John get kicked by Karkat more, and Terezi sighs softly from next to you. 

“I don’t understand why he’s gotta be so violent. I think he needs help. He needs to find an outlet to his anger that isn’t endangering some kids life.” 

That’s probably the deepest Terezi can get. “Yeah. We can’t ever tell him, though. He’d go ape shit on us.” 

She sighs. “I know.” 

The two of you sit in silence for a bit more, and finally Karkat is done kicking the crap out of John. He walks over to you, nostrils flairing. 

“Let’s fucking go, guys.” He says gruffly, and Terezi gets up to follow wherever he stomped off to, not bothering to look behind him. You take this as an opportunity to run over to John where he is laying on the ground to see if he’s alright. 

He’s still surprisingly conscious, looking up at the sky like he’s damning the day that he came to this school, and you hover over him. His eyes connect with yours and he gives you the most disgusted look in the history of looks. You ignore the horrible aching in the bottom of your stomach, the one that tells you you are honestly the worst person in the world for letting this happen to an innocent guy who didn’t even do anything. 

“I know.” You say, responding to his disgusted look. You really need to get back to Karkat and Terezi, so you begin to step around John. Before you go, though, you stop and turn back around to John. 

“I’m sorry.” You say quietly. “I’m really fucking sorry.” 

Then you leave him in his state of misery. 

 

**===== > John: Try not to feel utter and total rage**

As you watch Dave walk away, you don’t know if you’re going to forgive his apology. He looked damn guilty while saying it, and hey, at least he said it. It doesn’t make up for the fact that he did NOTHING though, and his sympathy does hardly nothing to how much fucking pain you are in right now. 

You sit there for another 10 minutes, as you did last time, your wrist hurting like no motherfucker knows. You sit up, and as you do so the world spins and your wrist feels as though it is broken. You wince, sucking in a sharp breath as you cradle your wrist and whimper without any noise. Your throat constricts and you’re sniffling and holding back tears, wishing more then god damned anything you were tough enough to fight back or scream or do _something_. 

You’re about two seconds from bursting into sobs when you hear a gasp, and you hear someone running over to you. You don’t open your eyes- you don’t really want to know who it is. 

“Oh my god!” A high voice screams, and you peek one eye open to see a girl with long black hair crouching to sit next to you. Her skirt flutters on your arm, and she pulls back her hair to look at you with her wide eyes covered in circular glasses. 

“Are you okay?!” She practically screams in your ear, and you wince. She gets the message, and turns down the freaking out a bit. “Who did this to you?” 

You pat around your pocket and find your phone. You open a new message and type your reply, and before she can give you a slightly confused and offended look, you shove it in her face. 

EB: i don’t know. some popular punk kid, or whatever. i’m fine.

After she finishes reading it, she looks up at you in horror. “They hurt you so bad that you couldn’t speak?” 

You sigh exaggeratedly and reach to take your phone back, your whole body hurting with the action. 

EB: no, i physically cannot speak normally. i’m mute. i have been my whole life. 

“Oh, that explains a lot.” 

You hear another voice in your direction. “Jade? What are you doing?” 

Huh, so this girls name is Jade? Well, at least she cares in some way. 

Another girl with short blonde hair walks over to you two, and she crouches next to Jade, looking at you. 

“God, what happened to _you_?” She asks, and Jade makes an angry noise. 

“I think Karkat and his posse beat him up. The poor kid- he’s mute! He can’t even scream for help!” 

The blonde girl raises her eyebrow at you. “You’re new here, aren’t you? Was the person who physically harmed you a boy with slightly dark red hair? Was he very angry and loud?” 

You nod, and the girl sighs. “That was Karkat Vantas.” She explains. “He’s not exactly part of the popular crowd, but he is a huge dick.” 

You smile a bit, and she holds out her hand for you to shake. You bring up your battered hand and shake her hand, pain raking up your arm. Ouch. 

“My name is Rose Lalonde. This is Jade Harley.” She explains, and Jade waves cheerily at you. 

You take your phone from Jade and type. 

EB: i’m john egbert. nice to meet you. 

“Nice to meet you as well. Is this the first time you’ve gotten hurt by Karkat?” 

You shake your head, and Rose gives you a sad look. 

“Well, good thing that Jade and I stayed after for extra help to be here when we could.” She mummers, then looks over at you. 

“Do you mind if we take you to the nurse?” 

You hesitantly shake your head yes, and they help you get up and bring you to the nurses office. 

There, they practically shoot questions on who did it, but you don’t talk because... well, you can’t. And you don’t want to. 

Jade and Rose explain that you are mute, and they ask you to write down who did it if you can. You shake your head no, and they let it go for now to tend to your wounds. 

It turns out you have a badly sprained ankle and a couple of horrid bruises, but you’re okay. They threaten that if this happens again you HAVE to tell them who did it, but yeah, like that’s going to fucking happen. 

Rose and Jade lead you outside, and before you thank them through text and go home, they stop you from texting out the message. 

“Hey.” Jade says softly to you. “Is it alright if I program mine and Rose’s numbers into your phone? You look like you can....” She pauses. “use a friend, and I think I speak for both of us when I say that we will be very willing to look out for you, John.” 

Rose nods. “You can sit with us at lunch tomorrow, if you want to.” 

You pause. You’ve been spending the last few lunches in the library hiding from everybody else so.... y’know what, why not have a few friends? The problem is... 

You take your phone back. 

EB: oh god, that’d be great and you can definitely program your number into my phone, but... are you sure you want to be friends with me? i can’t even talk.

Jade looks shocked that you would even say such a thing. “I don’t mind reading the texts! Really, it’s nothing at all, and I’d love to learn more about you, John.” She says, smiling, and you smile back a bit. 

“Me too.” Rose says, and you hand over your phone to them. They program their numbers into your phone, and soon enough, you thank them and go off to start your walk back home. 

Well, though you think the beatings are going to be a regular thing, at least you have two people possibly on your side now. You think you can become good friends with these people. 

 

\--

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]\--

TT: Hello, John.   
EB: oh, hey!  
TT: Did you get any trouble on the way home from school?  
EB: no, they usually leave me alone after they’re done for the day. but thank you for caring. it means a lot!  
TT: It’s really no issue, John. Jade and I really do not mind adding another friend to our group. We would be happy to add you.  
EB: oh, are there several of you?  
TT: Yes. There are about five of us, give or take. They’d be happy to add you as well.  
EB: well... okay! i don’t really see an issue, as long as it’s okay with you guys! is it alright if i sit with you guys tomorrow, just to meet all of you?  
TT: Of course. I will meet you by the entrance of the the cafeteria tomorrow at lunch. Do not forget.   
EB: alright! thank you. i really need a friend right about now.   
TT: Then I promise you I will try to be a good one. 

You smile down at your phone. Maybe, for the first time, you’ll make an actual friend. And it doesn’t even matter if you can’t talk to them, because they’re still willing to befriend you. 

Maybe this year won’t suck as much as you thought it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK!! SO HERE IS THE NEWS!!!!!!!  
> when this fic is over im actually going to write a sister fic to this one except in dirk and jake's POV! so it'll be like deaf!dirk and jake in the same universe and time in this fic as the davejohn is happening. so that'll be up sometime! look forward to it!!!!  
> thanks for reading! a comment would be lovely!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry if this chapter is boring. oops.

**===== > Continue being John**

The next day you get up to go to school, you’re not scared or angry. You have a slight hop in your step, and you go downstairs smiling at your nanna even through the pain on your jaw. And okay, _maybe_ it's because you finally have an actual friend now. 

“My, someone looks happy.” Your nanna comments, and you nod. 

‘I am.’ You sign, then take the plate of food she set out for you and peck her on the cheek in thanks. 

When you're practically done eating, the doorbell rings. 

“That's Dave!” Your nanna says excitedly, and you sigh. At least _she_ can get excited over his arrival. 

When she opens the door, he's leaning against the frame. There isn't a smirk on his face today, so at least that's an improvement. 

“Hello, Dave!” Your grandma says excitedly, and he nods. 

“'Sup Jane.” He says, and your grandmother grins. 

–

When you finally finish, you set off with Dave to school. 

It's silent at first, and you can't find it in yourself to feel disappointed or want to change that. You've kind of given up on trying with Dave- his friends are dicks, he's a dick, and you know he'll never want to become friends with you. Why even bother? 

It's still silent and you're still thinking about how Dave enviably hates you, when you feel him bump his shoulder into yours. 

“Yo, John, you there?” 

You blink, then look over at him and nod, eyebrow raising in question. What could he possibly have to say to you? 

“I, um.... I'm sorry for yesterday. And the day before that.” Dave says awkwardly, looking slightly to the left of you as though he doesn't want to say it to your face. Which, granted, he probably didn't. 

'Did your mom put you up to this?' You sign, and Dave shakes his head. 

“No, she didn't. She doesn't even know about any of the situation... or that I'm apart of it.” He sighs, then finally looks at you. “I just want you to know I'm not completely heartless, and that I feel fuckin' horrible that Karkat's using you as a way to get his anger out.” 

'What is he angry about?' 

“That's not my place to tell you, he didn't even tell me the reason himself.” 

'Okay.' you pause, thinking. 'It's nice that you feel bad, but you're still not doing anything about it. And that's a real douche move.' 

“Well, sorry. I can't. They're my friends, no matter who they beat up. Why don't you just report them or stop them yourself? You could end this really fuckin' easily if you just tell the principal.” 

You silently scoff... which sounds like you're breathing louder then normal. 'I'm not a weak baby, I can handle it.' 

“No, you can't, if the bruises on your face are anything to tell by.” 

Your face scrunches in determination. 'I'm no coward.' 

“I'm sure you're not, but with the anger in Karkat, you're fucking dead.” 

The words “You're fucking dead” ring in your mind, and it kind of scares you. But hey, it won't escalate that far... will it? With your new friends, you assume they won't bother you for a while. You... assume?

It never really hit you that they'd agree to walk you home everyday, so you bite your lip. Oh, fuck. 

Dave sighs again at your lack of a response. “Just don't be stupid, alright? It'd really suck if you got too hurt by him.” 

'Why do you hang out with that jerk, anyway? He seems mean, even to his friends.' 

Dave shrugs. “He's my friend. I gotta stick by him.” 

You roll your eyes. 'Still, you shouldn't put up with his bullshit. Why do you even bother?' 

“Just... shut up. I just do.” 

'What, do you _love_ him or something?' You tried to sign it as sarcastically as possible, as if you can be sarcastic with sign language. Oops. Either way, Dave's eyes widen and he laughs awkwardly. 

“What? No, that's fucking weird man he's a _guy_ that would be..... weird.” He says quickly, and you narrow your eyes. Interesting. 

So he's the homophobic type? Well, that pretty much sucks... judging from the fact that you like guys. Let that be another reason to add on the list of reasons you and Dave will never get along. 

Oh yeah, you should probably mention you're gay. Not that it matters, really. It's a minor issue in your sea of fucking problems right now. It's not even like you just figured that out- you've known for years. It's not like you're ever going to get a boyfriend, though. You're pretty sure even a _girl_ would never want you, much less another fucking guy. You've kind of given up on ever finding romance, really. 

You roll your eyes. 'Chill, dude. I don't care.' 

He looks over at you through his shades. “What, are you gay or something?” 

You shrug a shoulder apathetically. Fuck it, how much more can you screw up with him? 'What does it fucking matter?' 

“It doesn't.” He says, and you nod. 

'Right.' 

–

When you arrive at school, you're hesitant to admit that you're really fucking excited. Though lunch is still a while away, just knowing that you have _friends waiting for you_ gets you actually excited for once, and it feels.... nice. You don't have to dread lunch here for the first time since you got here, and that feels nice. You don't have to hide in the library anymore, you have _actual real friends_.

You know you sound like a complete loser, but hey, who can blame you? You're not used to people. 

You drift through the day not really paying attention, wondering what Jade and Rose's friends will be like. Will they like you? Will you have a good time today? Will today fucking suck and you will have to go back to your life of solitude and loneliness? You just don't fuckin' know. 

So when the bell rings signaling your lunch period, you feel your heart rate increase with nerves and excitement. But... what if Rose forgot? What if she isn't even there? 

You wait by the entrance to the lunch room, tapping your foot nervously. You're about 99% convinced Rose ditched you when you see her walking over to you with a small smile. You feel the nervous tension melt out of you, and you smile back at her when she finally arrives in front of you. 

“Hello, John.” She says, coming closer to give you a small hug. You're a bit taken aback, so you do not return it, but Rose doesn't question. 

“Follow me, I'll bring you to our table.” She says, and begins to walk into the mess of students in the cafeteria. You're a bit hesitant to follow, but Rose turns around and gestures for you to come, so you fast-walk over to her to catch up. 

As if sensing your nerves, Rose bumps her shoulder against yours. It distantly reminds you of Dave doing that this morning, and you shake it out of your mind. What should you give a shit what Dave does? This isn't the time to think about him. 

Finally, the two of you arrive at the table, and you're met by the faces of a few women, one of them being a smiling Jade. 

“Everybody, this is John. He's new here, and he can't speak. He's mute. But he has his phone and will be able to speak to you through that. Make him feel welcome, please.” Rose says, and gosh, she's formal. Nevertheless, everybody at the table nods, and she sits down in an empty seat, gesturing for you to sit down next to her. 

“So I suppose I should introduce everyone.” Rose says, then points at the first person across from her. 

“This is Kanaya.” Rose explains. “She's my best friend.” 

You take a look at this girl, and she smiles at you sweetly. Her lips have a green lipstick on them, and she has short dark red hair and green eyes with freckles to match. She's long, lean, very pretty, you note, and you'd probably be into her... if you liked girls. 

“Hello, John.” She says, waving slightly, and you wave back with a small smile of your own. 

“This is Aradia.” Rose explains, gesturing to the girl with longish black hair, and you smile at her as well. She's beautiful as well... god damn it, are all the girls here pretty? 

Your thought is backed up by the next girl, who is small and blonde. She's pretty enthusiastic, you notice, and Rose says her name is Nepeta. 

Theres also one other boy, and his name is Tavros. He has his head shaved on either side, and very bright brown eyes. 

You're about to sign something when you realize they wouldn't be able to understand, so you take out your phone and type something. 

EB: nice to meet you all. ps, am i the only boy here besides tavros? 

Rose reads the text aloud, and they all crack a giggle. 

“Yeah.” Aradia replies. “We have other boys here sometimes, but they don't really stay for long. Tavros is our only regular here. He was the only boy here before you.” 

They all laugh again, and Tavros's face turns a bit red. 

You then sit down and talk to them for a bit, giving them all your chumhandle. They all seem nice enough, and you all have conversations through you texting your reply back to them. It's not that hard, you note, and they don't seem to mind. You make all of them laugh a lot, and it feels good. They don't even look at you like you're weird for not being able to talk – and it feels really good. When the bell rings to signal the end of lunch, you feel actually _sad_ that it's over, and the rest of them pretty much look it too. 

“You're welcome to sit with us tomorrow, if you want.” Kanaya says, and Nepeta nods. 

“Yeah, and permanently too!” She adds happily, then pauses and adds: “If you want.” 

You nod, grinning, and then it's time to go. You don't think you've smiled this wide in a long time. 

You walk out of the school at the end of the day with a hop in your step, and you make sure to stay with the crowd of people going out; not bothering to wait for Dave. He walked you to most of your classes today, but it was mostly in silence. It was like he was thinking about something. 

Walking over to the path, you hear your name being called. 

“John!” 

You turn, smiling, expecting it to be one of your new friends. You're met by the face of a girl with a wicked grin. 

“Come with me.” She says, and you cock an eyebrow and shake your head. How does she even know your name? Fuck if you're going with her! 

She kicks you very hard in the shin, and WHAT THE FUCK. 

The air wooshes out of you, and you bend down to cradle your shin, giving her your best dirty look. Why the hell did she just kick you?! 

Looking at her face- you do sort of recognize her... 

“Karkat is my friend.” She says, and you freeze up. “So you better come with me now. Or you're gonna get it worse tomorrow, trust me.” 

You shake your head wildly and turn to make a run for it, when she grabs your wrist- hard. 

You silently yelp and try to pull back your wrist, but she's got too strong of a grip on it. 

She pulls you towards the stadium, and you're still trying to fight back. She's stronger than you, though- a lot stronger. You eventually stop fighting and figure you'll flee when you get there. You're going to try to fight back today- you're no baby. You just... don't really wanna get caught and suspended. 

You're still pondering about what you should do when you get there when you... actually get there. 

Standing on the empty bleachers are Karkat and Dave, Karkat with an evil grin and Dave with a poker face. 

You're frozen, and apparently your body makes your decision for you because you then turn around to flee when Karkat grabs your arm. 

“No you don't.” He growls, then pushes you roughly. You lose your balance and fall face first onto the ground, hitting your chin painfully on the ground. Your whole jaw radiates with pain and FUCK that really hurt. 

You feel a harsh kick to your back and tingles of pain float down your back, and you think, fuck everything. You're not even going to try anymore. Fighting back is useless – you're at the bottom of the food chain. You're dead meat, theres no use in trying anymore. 

Apparently this beating is short, because Karkat then just leaves, silence ringing in your ears. 

You painfully turn back onto your front, looking up at the sky. Third day in a row you've ended up on the ground, wow. Congrats to you. 

You're surprised to see one person who didn't leave, which was, of course, Dave. 

“Meet me by the main doors in a few minutes.” He mummers, and you think, yeah, right. If you can fucking get up- which you won't be able to for another ten minutes. 

When you hear him leave, you feebly bring up your phone to your face. 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -- 

EB: jade? you there?   
GG: yeah, whats up??????? :D  
EB: i can't move.... help. are you still at school?  
GG: oh GOD did karkat hurt you again? fuck, im not at school, but ill get there soon!!!!!! hold on there!!!!!   
EB: no, no it's fine. i'll be fine, you don't need to come. i'm good, trust me.   
GG: are you sure john???? :(   
EB: yes, i'm sure. please don't come, okay? i'll be fine!   
GG: okay, if youre positive :/ you can always pester me if you need me alright?????  
EB: yeah, okay.

You put your phone down and take a deep breath, trying to forget the pain. Apparently you stay there a bit too long, because eventually you see someone walking over to you. You hope to god that it isn't a teacher or someone to question you, and when you look up, you see the face of Dave. 

“Are you okay to stand up?” He asks awkwardly, and you nod. 

'I'm fine.' You sign, then begin to sit up. Pain runs its way through your body and you gasp, vision going black for a second. 

You see Dave crouch next to you, fear written over his features. “Oh shit oh _fuck_ John he could have really hurt your back.” 

You're still seeing stars, but you bring up your hands and sign: 'What do you care if he did?' 

He pauses. “I told you, I'm not completely heartless.” He snaps, and you let out a deep breath through your nose. 

It's quiet for a moment, then you hear Dave shift around awkwardly. “I'll carry you home.” He says, and you shake your head. Fuck if you're getting _carried_ home, especially from fucking Dave. 

He isn't taking no for an answer, though, because next thing you know you're being picked up bridal style. Pain rakes down your body, and your eyes black out again. 

You think you passed out or something because the next thing you know you're being woken by Dave in a room you don't recognize. 

You look around wildly, and Dave is looking at you with raised eyebrows from over his shades. 

'Where am I?' You sign wildly, and Dave laughs lowly. 

“You're in my room. I couldn't let you go home passed out, could I? Your grandma would flip.” 

You assume he does have a good point there. If Dave brought you to your house passed out, your nanna would probably have a heart attack or call the police. Neither of which are good. 

You move a bit, and it hurts less then it did earlier. And hey, at least you don't blackout whenever you move. It suddenly hits you that Dave did in fact carry you to his house and up his room bridal style, and you feel your face heat up. 

Dave notices this and laughs, and for once, it's kind of... a friendly laugh. You pause, thinking that you possibly heard wrong, but he doesn't look bitter or anything. Hm. 

“You feeling better?” He asks, and you're surprised. Care? Sympathy? Where is the real Dave and what did this dude do to him? 

You sign this to Dave, and he scowls. “I told you I can be nice sometimes.” 

You roll your eyes, and Dave huffs. 

“Well, since you're here, do you want to play video games or something?” 

You nod, because y'know what, why fuckin' not? It turns out he has some of your favorite video games, and the two of you end up playing them. You learn that Dave is quite vocal when it comes to video games, constantly yelling swears at the television. 

“You fucking like that? Suck my massive literal cock, zombie!” Dave yells, exaggeratedly making gestures to his crotch. You raise an eyebrow, biting your lip to contain the laughs bubbling up in your chest. 

It turns out that this “punk” kid is a huge fucking nerd, and a couple more outbursts like that have you falling on the ground in laughter. 

At first Dave was alarmed, since your laughs aren't really laughs at all. They sound like rapid intakes of your breath, almost like you're sobbing or hyperventilating since you can't make noise. He looks over at you with wide eyes, then sees your grin while laughing and cracks a smile too. It almost seems.... nice. Maybe Dave isn't so bad after all, you think. He's pretty cute when he laughs, too. He's an attractive kid, you realize. But, attractive as he may be, you're not stupid enough to trust him after today, you know he's just going to sit around while you get beaten up again and again. 

Eventually it gets too late at night and you feel 100% fine, so you sign that you're going to leave. There isn't a flicker of disappointment in Dave's eyes, and that kinda makes you sad, but you give him a tiny smile anyway. He nods at you, flicking his hair out of his eyes. 

“See ya, dude.” He says, and you nod. Then you leave. 

On the way out you say hi to his mother and brother, who are both very interesting people, then leave. While walking home, you kind of feel... you don't know, happy. 

You aren't angry at Dave for once. He actually took you to his room and.... cared about you. It was weird, but hey, if you and Dave are on good terms, then that's okay with you. 

You remember how he looked when he actually smiled, and yeah, maybe he isn't so bad. 

\-----------------------

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -- 

TT: Hello, John. Are you alright?   
TT: Jade told me that you pestered her saying you were hurt.  
EB: yeah, heh. i'm ok.   
TT: What happened?  
EB: karkat hurt me really badly today, but dave took me back to his house and we played video games. i'm alright now.   
TT: Dave... Strider? Isn't he a close friend of Karkat's, though?  
EB: yeah, but he's my neighbor and he's kind of nice to me when karkat isn't. at least he feels bad. but he's pretty cool, too. he's really funny.   
TT: Well, I'm glad he was there when the rest of us couldn't be. I could always walk you home, you know.  
EB: oh, shush. that'd be asking too much. besides, i can handle it.   
TT: Hmm, alright. Anyway, my friends really liked you today.   
EB: yeah! i had a great time today, thank you so much for inviting me into your group.   
TT: It's really no issue, John. You're a good addition to the group. I'm just glad you had a good time.  
EB: yeah, i did. by the way, i meant to ask you, is kanaya really your best friend? you seem to like her most, and i don't want to sound offensive or anything, but it seemed as though you liked her as more then a friend?   
TT: My, my. You are observant. Yes, I do in fact like her as “more then a friend”, however I am not positive if she has these feelings about me as well.   
EB: oh, i'm sorry. maybe you should talk to her about it?   
TT: Possibly. How about you? You seem to be fond of this Dave Strider. Do you possibly have some feelings for him?   
TT: Assuming you're homosexual or bisexual, of course.   
EB: uh, yeah. i'm gay, but whatever. i don't know. dave's attractive but he seems really straight, besides he doesn't do anything when i get beat up. he isn't even really my friend.  
TT: Hm. Well, possibly things can perhaps change in the future.  
EB: maybe. i doubt it, though. 

You won't doubt it for much longer, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND SO THE FEELINGS KIND OF BEGIN.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> check the end for an importent question.... kind of. sorry this chapter isn't very long and sorry it took a bit to get up. i'm sort of a procrastinator.

**==== >Dave: Have a moment of self loathing**

You have a horrible disease. You have a horrible disease, and its name is “caring too fucking much”. Because, god fucking damn it, you do care too much. 

You realize this when John left your room and you were about to run after him asking for his chumhandle. You pause, then stop completely. Ask for his _chumhandle?_ What the fuck! Since when did you want to willingly talk to him? 

Then again... if you hated the kid so much, why did you carry him to your room? Why did you let him stay here after he woke up? 

These questions piss you off, and you throw your controller down in frustration. You wish more then anything that you had Karkat's ability to not give a fuck about anyone but yourself, but alas you are cursed with the fact that contradicting your hardcore exterior is a teddy bear heart inside of you. You're not completely okay with John just yet, but you kind of... feel bad for him. You know pity isn't a thing John needs right now, he probably needs a hero, but who're you kidding? You're no hero. You don't have the ability to tell Karkat to stop because of your fear of him, but is that such a crime? You're no different then the rest of the kids at the school. You've seen Karkat beat up tons of people, and what do the others do? Absolutely nothing. Is it such a horrible thing that you're doing the same? 

Perhaps, but you just... can't. You're weak, and you know it. 

You let out a long breath through your nose and turn off your television. You figure if you're going to have one of your infamous self loathing parties, you better go down and talk to Dirk. You have a tendency of going to him whenever you have troubles, mainly because he actually gives some good advice when he isn't being an asshole. 

You walk across the hallway and hesitate at Dirk's door. You can't knock, for obvious reasons, but you remember... other times when you've walked in on him doing things you didn't want to see. However, you think that he installed a lock on his door after you walked in on him for the 5th time. Jerking off, that is. You'd think the “genius” would be smart enough to put a lock on his door after the first fucking time. Save both he and you the humiliation. 

You shiver at the memory, then try the handle. It's unlocked, so you assume that he isn't jerkin' it like tomorrow wasn't a thing in his room. When you push the door open, Dirk is sitting in his bed reading a book... to your relief. 

You kick his bed to get his attention, and he looks up at the sudden jolt in his bed. 

“Hey.” He says, raising his eyebrows from behind his shades. “'Sup?” 

'I just wanted to talk' You sign to him, and he nods. 

“Feelings jam?” He asks, and you shrug a shoulder. 

'Kind of.' 

He gestures for you to sit next to him on his bed, and you fall down in the spot next to him. He puts a bookmark in his book and places it on his nightstand, turning to you after he does so. 

“So, what's been on your mind?” He asks, mockingly folding his hands on his lap. “What's been troubling you, dearest brother?” 

You scowl and push his shoulder slightly, and he smirks. “But seriously.” He says, “What's up?” 

'I don't know. I'm just not feeling really good right now with personal shit.' 

He tilts his head slightly. “What, like, romantic stuff?” 

'No, just friend shit.' 

“Does it have to do with that John kid that just left?” 

'Yeah. If I tell you something, do you promise not to tell mom?' 

“Of course. When have I ever tattled on you? That's dumb as hell.” 

'Whatever, just don't tell her. Anyway, Karkat has been hurting John and I haven't done anything about it.' 

His eyebrows raise again. “And how does that make you feel?” 

You shrug. 'I don't know. I guess I feel sort of guilty, he didn't do anything to deserve it.' 

“Well, Karkat's a fucking idiotic dick first of all-” He gets cut off when you shove him roughly. When he regains his posture, he scoffs. “It's true! Dude, the guy is such a fucking asshole, just ditch him.” 

'No. He's my friend.' You sign, and Dirk sighs. 

“He's a bad friend from what I hear and what he says to _me_. Literally, I don't think I've ever said a bad thing to the guy and he calls me a loser for _doing my homework on a saturday?_ Is he okay, seriously? The dude has major anger issues.” 

You bite your lip. 'I'm worried for him, but I'm also worried for John too. He can get really hurt.' 

“Maybe you should say something to Karkat?” 

You shake your head. 'He'd probably call me a traitor or something lame like that.' 

“Well, maybe you should look out for John better. I'm not saying you should like, become friends with the dude if you don't want to, but you should maybe pull a little more strings to make sure he doesn't get too hurt all the time.” 

That actually... doesn't seem like a bad idea. 'Maybe. I don't know, I guess I could be a bit nicer to him.' 

“Yeah, you should. You're not a huge douche, dude. You shouldn't always try to act like you are.” 

You want to shove him and tell him that you don't act like a douche but... you kind of do. You don't really want to, but you kind of need to to fit in with Karkat and Terezi. It's dumb, and you hate it. 

'Yeah.' You sign, then smirk a bit. 'How about you? How has your friendship life been like?' 

“Ha ha, very fuckin' funny. If you must know, I've actually made a friend recently.” 

You snort a laugh, and Dirk notices and frowns. “No, dude, seriously. While you were out being a douche yesterday, that lady from next door, 'Jane' or whatever, came over and introduced John's cousin.” 

'John has a cousin?' 

“Yeah, man. I guess he moved here with his grandmother as well a few days ago too because they wanted to keep John company or something. His name is Jake. He's cool.” 

'How does he react to your whole situation?' 

He grins. “Pretty damn well.” 

–

With that in mind (the advice about pulling strings to get John less hurt, not Dirk's new homosexual crush or whatever that dude gets into now and days), you go up to John's house on friday and shift nervously on your heels. You plan on telling him about how you're sorry and shit and you're gonna try to keep him safer, but you're worried what he's going to think. 

You and him aren't so different, you assume. Your personalities are both very different compared to your appearances. You look “hardcore” and “punk”, yet you actually do sort of care. John looks like a innocent wide eyed kid when he's actually tougher than you. You gotta admit, you have a decent amount of respect for him. He knows how to put up with shit. 

You finally push the doorbell, and a bit later John opens the door. 

He nods a 'sup at you and turns around to knock loudly on the doorframe. He signs a goodbye to his grandmother, you assume, then shuts the door and begins walking to school, not even bothering to wait for you or even turn around to see if you were coming. 

You hurry to catch up with him, panting when you finally do so. This kid is fuckin' fast. 

“So.” You begin, nudging his shoulder a bit to get his attention. “I gotta tell you something.” 

John turns to you looking less then unamused, and you kind of pause for a second. He's really intimidating when he wants to be, and that catches you off guard. You've never really been in this situation before, where you had to actually help someone out on the expense of your own social life, but you don't really have an issue anymore. Tough as he may look, John still doesn't deserve to get hurt by Karkat anymore.

“I have an idea.” You say smoothly, and John nods for you to continue. “I think... I can help you avoid Karkat to the best extent.” You say, and John's eyes kind-of-widen. 

'What do you mean?' He signs, and you shrug a shoulder. 

“I can lead you another way around the school to avoid Karkat and walk you home that way.” 

'But, don't you usually hang out with Karkat after he...' John pauses shortly, as if searching for the right word. 'beats me?' 

Damn, this kid's good at making you feel bad, and he knows it - if his small smirk is anything to tell by. He's just as infuriating as Dirk, really. He's a Strider from another mother. 

“Yeah, but whatever. I can just tell him my mom signed me up for some after school thing. I doubt they'd care.” 

John's eyebrows furrow together. 'Aren't they supposed to be your friends, though? Shouldn't they care?'

“Sure, they _should_ , but they don't. Karkat and my other friend Terezi are closer, and I'm practically the third wheel.” 

'Then why do you bother?' 

Oh god, you are so sick of that question. You're sick of it because you get it really fucking often, and you're sick of it because you can't tell people the real answer. What you tell them (which is the half-truth) is that you'd have nobody if you left them. Sure, you're apart of a “cool kids” group, but it's just you three. No other group is very found of you, so you'd literally be left with no one. But thats not the full truth, and you know it. The full truth is that you have a crush on Karkat, and that fact is just fucking dying to come out. 

“Because I like Karkat, okay?!” 

John raises his eyebrows, unamused at your outburst. 'In what way?' 

“In a way that isn't your fucking business!” 

John mockingly puts up his hands. 'Woah, princess. No need to get snappy at me.' 

You huff exaggeratedly. “I know, whatever. Sorry.” You say gruffly, then look away from John. “Just, don't tell anyone about that, okay? I'll help you if you help me.” 

John's eyebrows furrow together again. 'Help you with what?' 

“Just... myself.” 

–

You no longer need to walk John to his classes, mainly because he already knows his way around the school, but you always stick near him in case Karkat sees him in the hallway and hurts him. You don't know what you'd do if he did, but you'd do.... something. Possibly.

Surprisingly, Karkat and John's schedules never mix and the chance of them running into each other is very rare if John keeps to his normal route. 

You always see someone walking with John, which is surprising. It's usually a girl, but sometimes you see a boy with his head shaved on the sides walking with him as well. You can't say that you expected John to _actually make friends_ here, and the fact that he did is strange. He can't talk, how did he manage to make friends who can't do sign language? You assume it's his phone, because he usually types stuff out and shoves it in their faces to read. Nevertheless, the person he walks with doesn't seem to care, and sometimes you can even see them laughing with each other. 

You only recognize two people out of the many he walks with, and that is Jade Harley and Rose Lalonde. They've been going to the same schools as you for a while now, and you're aware they've been best friends for a while, but you've never actually had the opportunity to talk to one of them. It's... nice that he has them, though. At least he isn't completely alone. 

You see Karkat and Terezi throughout the day yourself, but you don't sit with them at lunch or anything. It's not that you don't have the same lunch, you do, but you'd rather not sit with them. They prefer to be alone, as you know, and you'd much rather be outside under a tree eating a bag of chips then being a complete third wheel. You assume it's friendship that you're being a third wheel at, not a relationship. You don't know what you'd do if Karkat and Terezi started dating. 

When school finally ends, you meet John by his locker next to a girl with short black hair. 

“I'll speak to you later on pesterchum, John.” She says in a gentle tone when she notices you, then turns in the other direction and into the crowd. When she's finally gone, he turns to you. 

“Ready to go?” You ask, and John nods. 

'Which way are we going out?' 

“Back entrance.” You reply... then instantly regret it when John's nose crinkles. He then breaks into a fit of silent laughter. 

It's interesting watching him laugh, he looks like someone on the television put on mute laughing. All you can hear is the faint rapid intakes of breath, and you smile a bit in response. 

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Homoerotic slip of the tongue.” You say in a tired tone, but smiling nonetheless. 

When he finally calms down enough, you lead him to the back of the school where another exit is. You slip through there, then make it around the front of the school, where you can distantly see Karkat and Terezi sitting. You manage to sneak around them successfully, and end up on your normal path for school minus the drama. You really should have started this earlier. 

Walking, you quickly look over at John. He's staring at the ground in concentration, like he's really thinking about something, and you assume he's probably wondering why he didn't do this earlier as well. 

“So hey.” You say to get his attention, and he looks up at you. “We made it past Karkat without any drama.” 

'I know.' John looks away briefly. 'Thanks, man. I appreciate you helping out the best you can.' 

You shrug. “Hey, man. What are bros for-” You cut yourself off, but it's too late. John is raising his eyebrows at you, and you're biting your lip. You and John are... bros now? You assume the idea isn't _too_ bad... John isn't that bad of a kid, you guess. 

'We're bros?' John says, asking the question you've been wondering. You shrug. 

“I guess. I don't know, it's not that big of a deal. You're kind of alright, I'm amazingly awesome, that's not too bad of a mix.” 

'I suppose not.' 

–

When you finally arrive at your houses, John turns to walk away. You catch his wrist before he can walk towards his house. 

“Hey, dude, um...” You start, trailing off awkwardly and releasing his wrist, and John crosses his arms and peaks an eyebrow. 

“You have a pesterchum, right?” You ask hesitantly, and John nods. “What is it?” 

John doesn't move, and for a second you think he just sort of rejected your offer to talk more, when he lifts up his hands and signs something. 

'I'm ectoBiologist.' He signs, then turns on his heel and walks into his house quickly. You stand there, dumbfounded.

\-- 

**\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]\-- **

TG: are you a parking ticket  
TG: cause youve got fine written all over you  
EB: i'm assuming this is dave?  
TG: you assumed correctly  
TG: congrats your day just got 100% better  
EB: you keep thinking that.   
TG: what are you tryin to say here  
TG: are you saying you arent enticed by my manly charms  
TG: ps what is your last name  
EB: egbert, why? and i can't say that i am, sorry bro.  
TG: egbert you just broke my maiden heart  
TG: you cold hearted son of a bitch  
EB: ice cold  
TG: colder than god damn fucking alaska  
EB: colder and emptier than your love life  
TG: woah man  
TG: that one actually hurt  
EB: what, seriously?  
TG: nah   
TG: bt dubs im coming over tomorrow  
EB: what??? why???  
TG: because you need me to lighten up your lame and boring life  
EB: you're an idiot.  
TG: an idiot for you   
TG: wink

**\--ectoBiologist [EB] blocked turntechGodhead [TG]\--**

You grin at your phone. God, this kid was fun to mess with. 

That point only gets supported by the look on John's face when he opens the door to your smirking face the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO THE FRIENDSHIP BEGINS
> 
> ok, so here is the question. do you think i should do something to make john's dialogue easier to read? like, right now i just have what he says put in quotes 'like this', but should i put his signing text in blue like this? and if dave is signing to dirk, should his signing text be like this?  
> if you like that, i'll code the last few chapters and the next ones will be like that. so your opinion will be appreciated.
> 
> anyway, please leave a comment answering that or just a nice one in general! those make my day :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so hey. im currently writing this while i should be in school. i have 17 out of the max 20 absences from school, and if i reach 20 ill be held back from going into the next grade. why am i home, you ask? well, currently i am writing this story while sitting next to a toilet and trying not to puke. so, stomach bug! much fun! ill write a new chapter of my fic while i try not to get sick!!!!!! good idea, sam!!!!!!! anywizzle, no colored text for john. so no need to worry.

**==== > John: Be surprised by Dave's sudden annoying appearance **

When you open the door on a sunny saturday morning, the last person you expected to be standing there would be Dave fricking Strider. 

You woke up that morning from a doorbell ring, eyes opening slowly. Staring at the ceiling, you remember that your Nanna is always grocery shopping on saturday mornings, so she probably isn't here and you have to answer the door. 

You close your eyes and exhale loudly, not wanting to get up. As you start to drift away, you assume that whoever is there will leave and come back later when they hear nobody coming to the door. 

But the person at your door is a huge fucking asshole, and rings the doorbell again, waking you from your half-asleepness and making you whine silently. You hear it ring again two more times, and you throw the covers to the side of you, standing up to grab your phone and angrily trudge to the door. Whoever this is, you're going to give them a piece of your fucking mind! …. Through your phone! 

You throw open the door, a scowl plastered on your lips. You're so tired that you didn't even bother pulling up your low boxers... or even put on pants for that matter. So when you're met by the smirking face of Dave, you're suddenly aware that you are actually wearing no pants. He raises an eyebrow at your slowly reddening face, and your scowl increases. 

'What are _you_ doing here?' You sign, and he shrugs a shoulder. 

“I told you I was coming over today, dude.” 

'I thought you were being sarcastic!'

Dave scoffs. “Me? _Sarcastic?_ Why, Egbert, I would _never_!” 

You release a loud breath again. 'Well, what do you want?' 

“I assumed I could come over and teach you how to be as freakin' awesome as I am.” He says, then mockingly blows on his nails and rubs them on his shirt. You peak an eyebrow. 

'No.' You sign, then step back to close the door, but Dave steps in before you can. 

“Too bad, man. You need my assistance.” 

You play with the thought of shoving him out the door, but you know he probably won't give up, if his ever-present smirk is anything to tell by. You sigh, defeated, then close the door behind Dave and walk into your kitchen, looking around for a snack to eat before your Nanna comes home and can make you real food. 

“So,” Dave starts, sitting at your table. “Who're those girls and that one dude you walk with everyday?” 

Gosh, he was observant. And blunt. 

You frown. 'You mean my friends?' 

“Yeah. How did you make those so fast? Who did you have to pay?” 

You know he's only teasing, but you can sense something in his voice that was off. It wasn't jerkiness, but something else.... hm. You shrug, then sit down at the table next to him. 

'Jade and Rose found me on the ground one day and helped me by taking me to the nurses office.' 

You see Dave cringe a little bit, and you feel something disgusting like pride surge through you at that. Good, he deserves to feel guilty for leaving you there. 

'Then they introduced me to their other friends, and now I have them too.' 

Dave stares down at the table, not saying anything for a while. It only hits you then that you're kind of being a huge asshole and making Dave feel bad about his past actions, though he's helping you now.

“Yeah.” Dave says finally. “I'm glad you have them. That's cool.” 

'Yeah.' 

The two of you sit in silence for a bit, neither awkward nor comfortable. Finally, Dave breaks it with: “So, can I see your room?” 

You peak an eyebrow. 'Why do you want to?' 

“I let you see _my_ room, dude. I want to see what kind of shit you're into.” He waggles his eyebrows like a huge dork, and you bite back a smile. Dave's eyebrows suddenly furrow together, and he puts his hands on the table loudly. “I didn't mean that in a sexual way.” 

You lose it, letting out your breathy laugh while Dave scrunches up his nose. 

“Man, second day in a row.” He says, and you actually grin. 

–

You lead him upstairs and to the left, where your room is located. It has a ton of movie posters in it and a large TV hooked up to a few gaming systems. 

“Sweet TV.” Dave comments, looking up at your flat screen with awe. You shrug, not really finding it all that cool. You don't really ask for a lot from your parents, mainly just games and shit for you to play, so it was only normal they'd try to give you a big flashy present so they wouldn't have to feel like crappy people about dumping you off with your Nanna. 

“Oh my fucking god.” Dave says, leaning in to stare at your Con Air poster. “What the fuck, John. Is this Nicolas Cage? Are you serious?” He asks, turning to you, and you scowl. 

'That's a good movie!' 

“I've never seen it, but seriously John, Nicolas Cage is the joke of the movie industry.” 

You silently scoff. 'He's an amazing actor!' 

“No he isn't.” 

'Yes he is!' 

You two bicker for a moment longer, before he turns to another poster. “'Little Monsters'?” He reads, squinting at it through his shades. “Oh, I've seen this movie. This scared the hell out of me when I was a kid.” 

'What? How is it scary?'

“Are you kidding? Y'know, that part where that dude peels his face off? Shit was downright terrifying. Gave me nightmares for months.” Dave mock-shivers, and you smile a bit. 

'Dave, it's a _comedy film_. What age were you when you saw that?' 

“Like, five.” 

'Dude, you need to watch it again. It's a funny movie, it's not scary.' 

“It's fuckin' horrifying, John. Do you really want to expose my pure virgin eyes to such gruesome images?” 

'Yes.' 

“Asshole.” 

You grin. 

–

A few minutes later, you and Dave are situated in front of your large TV watching “Little Monsters” again. It's just as funny as you remember it to be, and you let out a breath/giggle thing at the funny parts. Dave turns to you, eyebrows raised. 

“This movie is lame.” He comments, but he's slightly smiling. 

'Just watch it.' You sign, and Dave huffs dramatically. 

Sure enough, the movies arrives to the part where the character of “Boy” rips his human mask off. 

'Scary?' You sign to Dave, and he purses his lips. 

“It's obviously not as scary now, but dude, this is pretty fuckin' nasty. This is a _kids movie._ The dude just fuckin' ripped his face off to revel another nasty-ass face, and this is an acclaimed children's film?” He shakes his head solemnly. “This shit ruined my life. This is an abomination.” 

You laugh. 'Way to be dramatic.' 

“I'm not being dramatic, dude. How can you like this stuff? Most 80's and 90's films are like that one family member that no one wants to talk about but is still there. It's like the embarrassment of the film family. An _embarrassment_.” 

You scrunch your eyebrows together, biting back a smile. 'What the fuck?' 

“I'm just tellin' it as it is.” Dave claims. “Layin' down the law.” He makes some “laying down the law” hand gestures with that, and just as you're about to call him a huge idiot, your Nanna walks in. 

“Oh, Dave! I didn't know you were here! Oh, and you two are watching a movie! How adorable!” 

You feel your face heat up as Dave snorts a laugh next to you. 'Nanna...' You sign, giving her your best “please don't embarrass me further” face. 

She just laughs, and offers Dave something to eat. He agrees, and she leaves the room. You two continue watching the movie until it ends, the silence easy between you. Dave provides some sarcastic commentary on the last few scenes of the movie, and you laugh. It almost feels natural between you two, and it was almost easy to forget that Dave isn't exactly your friend. But hey, he's been awfully nice these last few days and... you don't think you'd mind it too much if the two of you became friends. It's not like Dave's a bad person, he's just not himself when he's with others. 

“So,” Dave begins when the movie is over. “That was an insult to children's films everywhere.” 

You shove his shoulder, and he smirks. 

'You just don't know what's good.' 

“Oh, trust me. I do.” 

The two of you pause, and Dave exaggeratedly groans, putting a hand to his face while you laugh. 

“That wasn't even that sexual, _c'mon_. That was fuckin' weak, dude.” He says, but his voice is tinted with amusement. 

'It totally counts.' 

He shrugs. “What can I say? Homoerotic sounding phrases just come naturally to me. I'm a master.” 

'I'm sure you are.' 

–

It gets late without either of you really noticing, between eating your Nanna's delicious food and watching TV while Dave provides yet more commentary that makes you laugh. You've never really laughed this much in a day before, but Dave's sarcastic way of speaking is actually really quite funny. You're surprised to note that you're actually enjoying his company. 

Your Nanna comes back into John's room, looking sad for interrupting your conversation about Dave's strifes with his brother. It kind of hits you that she's glad that you and Dave are actually getting along. 

“Dave, honey? Your mother is here.” 

His eyebrows lift. “Oh. Didn't know she knew I was here.” 

Jane shrugs. “She said that she needs you at home.” 

You feel disappointment surge through you, and you immediately feel like an idiot. Should you be disappointed he's leaving? Should you feel like you want him to stay and talk more? You really fucking shouldn't, but you do. Dave's total asshat act is gone when it's just you two, and you actually have some pretty freakin' decent conversations 

Dave stands up from his seated position on your bed and begins to walk to the door leading out of your room. Before he actually goes, though, he turns back to you, a pensive look on his face. 

“This was pretty cool.” Dave finally says, shrugging causally. You nod. 

'It was.' 

“I guess we should do this again sometime, if you want. ” 

'We should.' 

And with that, Dave nods his goodbye and walks out of your room. 

Listening to him say bye to your Nanna and thank her for the food, you decide that Dave's pretty cool. And not in the asshole way. Almost kind of like a friend way. 

And for once, you're actually a tiny bit glad that you moved here. 

 

 **===== > Dave: Be thoroughly surprised as well**

When you walk out of John's house with your mom and walk into your own, you're surprised for more than one reason. 

One obviously being that John's an alright dude and that you actually had a _good time_ , and the other being that when you walked back into your house, Karkat was in your kitchen. 

Dirk was at the kitchen table with a boy you don't know that looks suspiciously like John. The boy, who you assumed was this “Jake” kid your brother told you about, was bickering with Karkat. 

“His voice is strange because he's deaf! It's bollocks that you need to give him grief for that.” Jake says sharply, and you note that he has a strange accent in his voice. You're also surprised to note that he's actually sticking up for your brother. 

“Okay.” You begin, walking into the kitchen. “What the hell is going on?” 

Both Jake and Karkat turn to you in surprise. Before Karkat can say anything, though, Jake speaks up first. 

“Ah, you must be Dave. Nice to meet you, chum! I'm Jake.” Jake says, holding out a hand that you awkwardly shake. “Also, this _Karkat_ character here was picking on your brother for the way he speaks.” 

You peak an eyebrow. “Oh." You pause, then say what's on your mind. "How do you even talk to him, anyway?” 

Jake pauses, obviously not expecting that. “Oh, uh, I believe he can read my lips when I speak to him? I assume that is why he looks at my mouth.” He laughs awkwardly, and you have to hold back your laughter. That probably wasn't the only reason Dirk stared at his lips. Dirk would probably go after anyone who gave him the time of day, guy or not. Let's be honest here. 

Finally, you realize you actually have to _fix_ this situation. You turn to Karkat, sighing. “Dude, Dirk's deaf, stop being an ass.” 

Karkat's face scrunches up like he's going to yell at you, but you just turn away, turning back to Jake. 

“Sorry about that.” You say cooly, then look over at Dirk, who is staring at Jake with wonder.

'Do you have any idea what's going on?' You sign, and Dirk happily shakes his head. 

“Nope!” 

–

Dirk and Jake retire upstairs after some awkward conversation from your mom, and Karkat turns to you when they leave, anger from before mostly gone.

“Where were you?” He begins, scowling at you. “I tried to text you all day! I thought you died or something!” 

Oh. You must've left your phone at home, you assume, and you shrug. You're about to answer when your mom does so for you. 

“He was at John Egbert's house.” Your mom interrupts smoothly. 

…

Fuck. 

You have no idea how your mother knew that something was up with John and Karkat, but you can tell she did by the way her face looks satisfied when Karkat's twists angrily. 

“Dave, can I speak to you somewhere else right now?” He asks, voice scarily even, and you follow him to your living room where your mom can't hear you. 

“What the fuck were you doing hanging out with that fucking freak?” Karkat asks lowly, and you're terrified as fuck. You had no idea that Karkat even knew his _name_ , and shit shit _fucking shit_. 

You speak without thinking. “Oh, he wanted to hang out and I didn't so my mom like forced me to go over and hang out with him haha I totally didn't want to I don't know why he wanted to so much maybe he's like _gay_ or something.” You say quickly, then pause when you realize what you said in that run-on sentence. Oh fuck oh FUCK- 

Karkat takes a minute to process your word vomit. “He's... gay?” 

Your brain is officially on autopilot. “Yeah.” 

Karkat's hands turn into fists. “I don't know how more fucking messed up that little piece of shit can get.” 

You don't say anything, mainly because you're afraid what you would say. Probably something to fuck up John's life even more. 

Karkat pauses, then looks up at you. “Answer my texts next time, asshole.” Then pushes past you to walk out of your home without so much as a goodbye. 

When he leaves, you sink down onto the couch, face in your hands. 

You fucked up, you fucked up big time and you know it. 

You made the mistake of giving Karkat another reason to hurt John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> story time! this chapter was based off a bit of truth.... the movie "little monsters" actually scared the living shit out of me when i was younger, and the part where the dude rips his face off is fuckin scary as FUCK. don't let anybody watch that movie. it's scary and scarring.
> 
> i hope this made you like dave a bit more, even tho he fucked up at the end. anyway, yeah. i havent eaten all day in fear of puking, and i have a huge headache and i want to fall down a hole. hope your day is better, omfg. lovely comments would make me feel better *3*


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!  
> this chapter is dedicated to my friend, the lovely [ludo](http://thewasteyourtimemaster.tumblr.com/)!! shes wonderful! i hope you've had a good morning so far, angel!!  
> anywizzle, CHECK THE END NOTES FOR *EXCITING* NEWS!!!

**==== >Dave: Lose your “friends”**

The rest of the night you told Karkat that John was gay you spent with your brother while you comforted him about Jake or something. You don't want to talk about that night, really. 

The next day, you wake up to text messages from Karkat. They're all dated from being sent around 2 o'clock in the morning, so Karkat hasn't been sleeping – you note. Whenever he gets stressed due to his home situation, he always becomes an insomniac. 

**\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]\--**

CG: HEY STRIDER, WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU ON FRIDAY, ANYWAY?  
CG: I DIDN'T SEE YOU AFTER SCHOOL THAT DAY. OR FUCKING JOHN. MAKES ME FUCKING WONDER, HUH. 

You gulp. He's smarter than you take him for, you've got to admit. He's pretty fast to catch onto things, which is good for him and horrible for you. You reply to him now, even though it's hours later.

 **\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]**\--

TG: nice for you to notice i was gone   
TG: youre a sweetie karkles   
CG: OKAY, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TELL ME WHERE THE EVER-LOVING FUCK YOU WERE.   
CG: YOU'RE NOT FUCKING FUNNY.  
TG: i cant believe you just insulted my humor   
TG: i mean you can call me an idiot all you want but when you insult my comedy then it gets fuckin personal   
CG: THE MORE YOU FUCKING STALL THE MORE I KNOW YOU'RE HIDING SOMETHING.   
CG: I'M NOT A GOD DAMN IDIOT LIKE YOU.  
TG: wow ok  
TG: if you HAVE to know i was at an after school thing my mom signed me up for  
TG: so im not going to be there after school anymore  
TG: but its not like you care or anything  
CG: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?  
TG: it means you probably wouldnt even notice my absence while you and terezi make goo goo eyes at each other or whatever  
CG: OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, FUCK YOU. SECOND OF ALL, HOW TEREZI AND I INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER IS NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUISNESS.   
TG: oh but as your “”””friend”””” i believe it is  
CG: IS YOUR OVERUSE OF THE QUOTE SYMBOL SUPPOSED TO SUGGEST THAT WE AREN'T FRIENDS?  
TG: well you sure as hell dont act like it  
CG: WELL THEN I GUESS WE FUCKING AREN'T.  
TG: i guess we arent   
CG: FUCK YOU. I DON'T NEED YOU ANYWAY.

**\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked turntechGodhead [TG]\--**

You stare at your phone, the word “blocked” staring up at you. 

So thats it, he just fucking drops you like that? You stare down at your phone, anger building up in you. Thats it, after two years of being friends, he just dumps you as a friend at the snap of his fingers. 

It hits you that at one point in your life, you _loved_ this kid. That point was up until last night. Of course, you still have feelings for him, but after he reacted last night to John being gay, you can't even imagine how he would react to you being gay for _him_. 

You throw your phone on your bed, frustration welling up in you. Your only friends just left you. You literally lost your entire social life in a three minute conversation. 

You're alone. 

You're alone, and it's not even John's fault like you assumed it would be. It's your own fault. 

What the actual fucking FUCK.

**=== >John: Argue with Dave**

The next day, when you walk to school with Dave, you assumed that the air around you two would be more light-hearted and easy judging from how well things went the day before. 

You were wrong. 

If anything, the air around you two was _darker_ than normal today. Dave was walking with his hands in fists, glaring down at the ground. You search your head for things that you might have done wrong, but come up blank. Dave honestly and legitimately has no reason to be angry at you, so he must be throwing a tantrum at something else. 

You consider asking him what was wrong, but judging from the way his face was drawn up tight and angry, you're 100% sure he would have blown up on you if you even tried. You care about him to some degree, of course, but being yelled at for no reason isn't something you want to deal with this early in the morning. So you just keep your figurative mouth shut and don't bother communicating with him. 

The day at school was... strange. You didn't really realize it until the end of the day, but you were acting strange today. Not really in a mood sense, but more of in an interest sense. You don't know why, but you kept asking your friends in lunch how it felt to speak. And in study hall, you took out a few books on the way the vocal chords work and the history of singing. 

As you stand by your locker waiting for Dave to come, you realize your obsession is coming back. 

You don't really like to think about it, but when you were younger you had an obsession with the science behind the ability to speak. It doesn't sound like a huge deal, and it _wasn't_ , but your Nanna took it as some sort of depression and took you to a bunch of therapists, who all agreed you shouldn't be too invested in your disability or it'll eventually turn into depression. You found that to be bullshit then, and you still do to this day. Why shouldn't you know about vocal chords? It's not a big deal, and you know it. You just want to know what it would be like to speak. 

Almost everybody was gone, and you assumed that Dave was a no-show today. Judging from the way he acted this morning, this wasn't a surprise to you. 

Deciding to wait until the school was absolutely empty before you left, you take out your phone to text Rose about your issue. 

**–- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--**

EB: rose?  
EB: you're good with psychological stuff, right?  
TT: I'd like to think I am. Why, is there something you need?  
EB: yeah. i just... i think i'm having issues with my disorder.   
TT: Would you like to elaborate?   
EB: well, uh, when i was younger i was obsessed with how vocal chords work.  
EB: and i think that's coming back.   
TT: I did notice you conversing with Kanaya about how it feels to speak.   
EB: hehe, i'm sure thats not the only thing you noticed.  
TT: Oh, shush. Back to the topic at hand, I believe that you might possibly be regaining your obsession about your disability. Is there anything else you have done that would have led you to believe that?   
EB: well, i did borrow a few books from the library about vocal functions...  
TT: John, I'm worried. If this progresses, please do tell your grandmother. I don't want you to get hurt.   
EB: what? hurt by what?  
TT: Yourself. 

You bite your lip as you look down at your phone. Could this really turn into something bigger-?

“Egbert.” A voice cuts off your mental track, and you look up to find Dave standing there. You're surprised, because he still looks angry and upset. You honestly thought he wasn't going to show today. 

Without another word, he begins to walk to the exit the two of you left through on friday. You follow quickly behind, wonder written on your face. Why the fuck was he even bothering with you if he was pissed off? As far as you can tell, you assumed Dave would turn into a raging douchebag when provoked and wouldn't give half of a shit about you. Turns out you were wrong, if the way he's actually _waiting for you to catch up_ says anything. 

The walk home is silent at first, the two of you thinking your own thoughts. You wondering why the fuck Dave was throwing a bitch flip, and probably Dave still thinking about the topic of his bitch flip. 

You look over at Dave, who is glaring at the ground, and let the surprise show on your face. _Seriously_ , why is he bothering with you when he's- 

“Stop fucking looking at me like that.” Dave states gruffly, halting your thoughts. 

You raise an eyebrow. 'What do you mean?' 

“You know what I mean. Like you're oh so fucking surprised that I remembered to walk you the other way today.” 

'Well, you can't blame me. You have a tendency to be a huge asshole when you want to be.' 

Dave suddenly stops dead in his tracks, surprising you yet again and making you halt as well. 

“Why do you think I'm such a god damn bad person?” He says sharply, voice rising. “I try my best to fucking help you, and you just blow it off like I'm another annoying thing to trouble you in your oh so woeful fucking life.” 

By this time, he's practically screaming at you, hands pulled tight in fists. You cross your arms, failing to be intimidated. 

'In case you forgot, you did nothing while your “friend” beat the shit out of me.' 

He runs an agitated hand through his hair. “Why must you always bring that up? I'm fucking sorry! I said it a thousand god damned times! Please, dear saint John fuckin' Egbert, tell me what _you_ would do in that situation. Would you fly in and save that person while almost definitely getting your ass kicked in the process as well as losing your only dumb-ass stupid fucking friends? I bet you fuckin' would, because you're just the _king of niceness and everything good in the world_ , right John? You're the reincarnated version of god damned jesus because you are just so high and fuckin' mighty!” 

Your mouth is slightly open as you stare at him with an emotion you can't place. You're 50% sure he said the word fuck in that whole rage-speech about 6 times. Or 5. But who is counting. 

Your mouth shuts, and you kind of place that emotion. _Amazement._

This is honestly the most emotion you've ever seen Dave show, and he's actually standing up to you which... kinda makes you proud of him. Of course, you'd never say that to him. 

'Is this really the reason you're angry?' 

He visibly deflates. “No.” 

'Do you want to tell me what's troubling you?' 

He's silent for a moment, poker face going back in place as he lets out a long breath through his nose. “Karkat dumped me as a friend. And of course, him and Terezi are a package deal so I'm left with nobody.” He pauses. “I'm alone, and it's my own fault. I stood up to Karkat in a way, I guess. And he got pissed.” 

You raise your eyebrows. Dave was just full of surprises today. 'What did you say to him?' 

“I told him he spent too much time with Terezi or whatever and that we weren't actually friends.” 

'Wow.' 

“Yeah. But that came with a price because now I'm friendless.” 

'Gosh. Consider me offended.' 

Dave's eyebrows furrow together. “What do you mean?” 

'I'm not your friend?' 

He looks at you like you're stupid. “I literally just called you the fuckin' anti-christ and you're still willing to be my friend?” 

You shrug a shoulder. 'I'm not a 12 year old girl, Dave. I don't give a shit. You were angry, and you let it out on me. I'm sure you didn't mean to call me the anti-christ or whatever.' You flash a small smile. 'Or you did. I don't know how you really feel.' 

He flashes a small smirk in return. “Yeah, Egbert. You're truly the spawn of satan, what with your dorky glasses and cunning remarks.” 

You pretend to gasp, feigning offense. 'My glasses aren't dorky. And my comebacks are fucking awesome, don't pretend that you don't love them.' 

He rolls his eyes. “You keep thinkin' that, Egbutt.” 

You laugh a little, and the two of you begin walking again towards your homes. It's a pretty comfortable silence now that Dave is acting calmer and normal, before Dave breaks it.

“I'm really sorry, y'know.” Dave says hesitantly. “For yelling at you just then. And for everything in general.” 

You give him a small smile and shrug a shoulder. 'Hey, what are friends for, man?' 

He genuinely smiles in return. “Yeah. Friends.” 

~~~

**\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]–-**

TG: yo egboob  
EB: hey... uh....  
EB: what's your last name again?  
TG: strider   
TG: dont wear it out   
EB: dave strider, huh? sounds too anime to be real.   
TG: whats that supposed to mean huh punk  
EB: it means that behind all the cool there has to be SOMETHING lame!   
TG: excuse you there is not a lame bone in my body  
EB: i'm sure. hm.   
TG: anyway back on topic here  
TG: i actually have to ask you something here egbooty   
EB: what is it?  
TG: um  
TG: ok  
TG: do you think i can like sit with you at lunch or s/t   
TG: like its nbd if you cant but like yeah  
EB: awww dave that's adorable!!   
TG: shut up  
EB: but yeah all lame jokes aside, of course you can sit with me, dude! i'm sure rose is okay with it.   
EB: she's kinda the head honcho here.  
TG: yeah its just that like i didnt really have anyone to sit with before  
TG: but now that were friends and all itd be pretty cool to like sit with people so  
EB: it's no problem, bro.   
TG: yeah  
TG: bt dubs can i come over tomorrow i want some more of your nannas food that shit was good   
EB: of course, dave.   
TG: ok good im gonna go be cool somewhere else now  
TG: dont cry too much without me john

**\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]-–**

And that was finally the start of your and Dave's beautiful broship. And you were happy during that time. 

Of course, before all hell broke out between you and a little someone named Karkat Vantas. 

But we'll get to that later. 

**===== > Dave: Feel awkward as hell**

You honestly didn't know what to expect with John's group of friends. You've obviously been going to school with Jade and Rose for a while, but you haven't actually made an effort to ever interact with them. The fact that they're now staring you down as you stand awkwardly next to the table with John makes you feel 10 sizes too small of a person. 

John types out a message on his phone and passes it to Jade for her to read aloud. 

“Guys.” She reads, “This is Dave. You probably know him and think he's a douche, mainly because he is.” 

This gets a few giggles around the table, and you turn to glare at John while he grins at you. 

“As big as a douche as he may be, however,” She continues, “he is also my friend. And right now he needs a good group of friends, so I assume it'll be alright for him to sit with us from now on.” 

Everyone nods happily, and John sits down in a spot, asking a girl you don't recognize to move down a seat so you can sit next to him. She obliges, and you awkwardly plop down in the seat next to John while all of the girls stare at you. You're literally the only boy sitting here except for John and another kid. 

“Well, Egbuns.” You say, breaking the silence and turning to John. “I can't say I'm not touched by that beautiful speech you had dear Jade read over here. You sure know how to warm a guy's heart.” You see Jade's cheeks turn a bit pink out of the corner of your eye, and you smirk at bit. Strider charm. 

A few more giggles go around, and John rolls his eyes at you. 

'I was trying to be nice, you asshole.' 

“I know, and it was working. Consider me enticed by your Egbun charm.” 

John just laughs and rolls his eyes again, and Rose looks at you strangely. 

“You know sign language?” She asks, surprise evident in her tone. You shrug. 

“Yeah. My brother is deaf. Y'know, Dirk.”

She nods. “Ah, yes. It's quite nice to see you two communicating in that way. It seems more personal.” 

Your eyebrow quirks up. “What're you trying to hint here?” 

She smirks. “I'm not trying to hint anything. Why, what did you take from that?” 

You think you like this girl. In a “she's sassy and I like that” kind of way. It reminds you of the Strider charm. 

You tell her that, and she laughs slightly. “Think I can match up to the 'Strider charm', as you call it?” 

You shrug, mockingly looking hesitant. “I dunno, Lalonde.” She looks amused that you know her last name. “You really gotta work hard for wit like this.” 

All in all, the lunch ends pretty well and you end up getting all of the table's chumhandles. Walking away to your next class with Egbert, you realize that you kind of had a really good time today. You acted like yourself, and you didn't have to try to impress anybody with talking horribly about another person. It felt nice to actually, you don't know.... _belong._ Not that you'd ever tell anyone that, though. That's lame. 

But you can tell now that you and Egbert were going to become very good friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeS! FRIENDSHIP!  
> anyway,  
> guess what?!??!??!? im announcing a new fic thing. of course, after i write the dirkjake sister fic to this one, but that one won't be longer than 3 or 4 chapters. now this, this will be kind of big.  
> i am gonna write a new davejohn fic after this one, which is..... A HATE FIC. WHERE THERE IS GOOD HATESEX AND ANGST. **please read the summary (there are no spoilers)[HERE](http://johnegdaddy.tumblr.com/post/51331517102/davejohn-fic-idea-shhhhhh) and tell me what you think in the comments! ** leaving your input on it would help me x100 so i strongly recommend you to do that!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so bad things happen in this chapter as well as good things. yes.

**====== >John: Become screwed **

Ever since that day that Dave asked you to sit with him at lunch, the two of you have become significantly closer. Dave tells you how his father died of cancer when he was 6, and you tell him about your relationship with your parents and how you wish you had a good excuse to be mute. 

All in all, the two of you share a lot and have a lot of personal moments. Moments where you're both sitting in your room or his, just talking stuff out. Of course, it's not always personal, and most of the time the two of you are exchanging sarcastic remarks at movies or just go on the computer or play video games. Y'know, teenage boy things. 

You're kind of hesitant to admit that by the end of the week, you kind of think he's your best friend or something. 

The two of you are currently walking to school, and Dave is telling you a story about how he ended up making out with a transvestite while at a Deadmau5 concert (“I'm telling you man, mix dubstep music and everyone except you on acid and things get pretty crazy.”) and you cut him off. 

'Dave.' You sign while tapping him to get his attention. Dave raises an eyebrow. 

“What? Why must you interrupt my beautiful story about my sexual escapades with Tim?” 

You roll your eyes. 'I need to ask you something.' 

“Well, shoot. Don't leave me hangin', Egbrotha.” 

You breathily giggle at the sound of yet another pun on your last name, and take a deep breath before focusing. Okay, you can do this. This isn't a big deal _why are you making it a big deal-_

'Are we best friends?' 

Dave quirks an eyebrow. “Best friends? Well, shit, Egbabe, I'm swooning over here. You sure know how to romance a fella.” 

You give him your best unamused look. 'Just answer the god damned question.' 

“Well, I'd like to think so, Egbear. I mean, I considered us best friends right when I tasted your Nanna's mac 'n cheese. That shit was the bomb. I knew I couldn't let ya go after that.” He mockingly winks, and you roll your eyes again, but you're grinning. 

You have a best friend. 

You have someone who actually considers you a _best friend_. 

For the first time in years, maybe you aren't so hopeless as you thought you were. Now with Karkat out of the picture for Dave, there wasn't anything bad in your life anymore. At least, at that moment there wasn't. 

That same day you and Dave finally became official best friends was the day that everything went downhill for you. 

It started first period, before you went into the class. You saw Karkat near your class, and you connected eyes. He smirked like he knew something you didn't, and you felt a pang of something run through you. You didn't see him anymore times that day until it was lunch. 

Now, with the weather turning less hot and into more of an acceptable warmness, almost every group was sitting outside for lunch. Of course, your group not being an exception. You didn't think much of it, going out of the watchful eye of the staff and into the outside area in front of the school that was hardly guarded. You could really go anywhere you wanted, or do anything you pleased as long as it was in school grounds. Your school wasn't very caring, to say the least. People could be shooting up heroin during lunch, and you doubt they'd send people outside to watch over the students. As long as you were back in the school when lunch was over, they could care less. 

Rose pesters you the night before saying where your group was going to meet outside, which was around the side of the school. Dave isn't in a class near you when you get out for lunch, so you have to walk out there alone. You're kind of worried, but not really. How could Karkat hurt you with so many people around? 

(Apparently, as you will find out for the next month of your life, he can. 

But we're going ahead of ourselves here.)

Anyway, you're trying to find the spot that Rose mentioned when you feel a hand on your wrist, gripping tightly. You turn, expecting to find one of your friends. You're met instead with the face of that Terezi girl. 

You feel your stomach drop like a rock and your eyes widen, and she pulls you somewhere without even a word. You're struggling, pulling with all of your might to get your wrist out of her grip, but she yet again overpowers you and you're left freaking out while she drags you until the amount of students become more and more scarce. She looks solemn, like shes being _forced_ to drag you to Karkat, and you try to hold back tears to the best of your ability. You won't cry in front of Karkat- you refuse. 

You try to look on the bright side. Who knows, maybe he isn't going to beat you up! Maybe he's going to sell you girl scout cookies. 

You hope to _god_ he's selling you girl scout cookies. 

However, when you're pushed in front of Karkat by Terezi, the scowl on his face doesn't really look business-like. So maybe he doesn't want to sell you cookies. You cross that off of the list of things you want Karkat to do besides beat the shit out of you. 

“So, _John._ ” Karkat says when you try to run and Terezi grabs you again, hauling you in front of Karkat with no escape. 

You eye him warily, not saying anything. Not like you would if you could, though. 

“I heard from a source a little secret about you.” 

You feel your eyebrows scrunch together. What could they possibly know about you? You haven't really told anybody your biggest secrets. Where could they have gotten- 

“A little person who will remain unnamed told me that you were gay.” 

You freeze. 

What...

The....

FUCK. 

Your mouth drops open, and Karkat evilly grins like he won something. They know. They know about your sexuality, and you're done. You're over with. Your life is screwed. 

You feel your knees wobble and you bite your lip to keep from letting tears loose. You won't cry in front of him, you _won't_. You _refuse_. 

“So, is that true?” He asks, and you slowly shake your head. 

“Don't fucking lie.” He snarls suddenly, then kicks your shin. You let out a silent yelp, bending over to cradle your shin. Karkat uses this opportunity to push you over, and you lose your balance and fall to the ground- arms flailing. 

You land on your back, and you blink out the stars in your eyes as you see Karkat stand over you. 

“So you like it up the ass, huh?” He asks, smirking a bit and kicking you swiftly in the side. The air rushes out of you, and you're reminded of the first time he hurt you. It was almost the exact same as this time.

He picks you up by the shirt, bringing you up to your feet just to punch you square in the eye. Your vocal chords constrict, and you realize you'd be screaming if you could. You bring your hands up to cradle your eye, searing pain ripping through it. 

Karkat then grabs your shoulders and slams you against the brick wall of the side of the school. Your head bashes against the stone painfully, and your vision in both eyes goes out for a moment before it comes back. Karkat is a couple centimeters from your face, sporting the most furious snarl you've ever seen. 

“Have a nice rest of lunch, faggot. You can expect this more often.” 

He punches you in the stomach, and the air comes out of your lungs again as you slide to the ground clutching your stomach and trying to remember how to breathe without it hurting. 

Karkat stands over you. “If you tell the principal or your stupid-ass fucking parents, I will personally make sure your life is a living fucking hell.” He spits at you, and you nod slightly. He looks satisfied at this, then tells Terezi it's time to go. You watch them leave, and as they do Karkat takes his hand in hers. 

You barely notice this, however, because your eyes are blurry with tears. 

You allow yourself to cry for a couple minutes before you gather yourself together and limp around the school to find your group. When you finally do, they stop their conversation in order to all stare at you as you limp over to sit down in your normal seat. You're pretty sure your eye is swollen already. 

It's silent, and you can't bring yourself to look at anybody right now, especially Dave. 

“What happened?!” Nepeta screeches in her high voice, and you wince slightly. 

Rose leans forward with a worried look while Aradia, Kanaya, Tavros, and Jade look at you in shock. You can't even bring yourself to look at Dave, still. 

You don't pull out your phone to answer them, just shrug and try not to wince whilst doing so. “I'm fine.” you mouth to them, and they still don't look convinced. 

“John. Who did this?” Jade asks in a dangerous tone, and you just smile hesitantly at her. You finally bring out your phone to answer her. 

EB: i'm fine, really. it was nobody. don't worry. 

Aradia looks unconvinced. “John, your eye is swollen and you limped here. It couldn't have been nobody.” 

EB: it's not a big deal guys, seriously! it's all good :B 

Kanaya taps Rose's shoulder and whispers something in her ear while you stare down at the table, wishing more then anything that they'd just drop it. 

“Was it Karkat, John?” Rose asks softly, and you shake your head quickly. 

EB: no! he doesn't bother me anymore. it was nobody, okay! it was a one time thing. i'll be fine after this, i promise. i won't get hurt anymore. 

They still all look at you, unconvinced, but luckily let the topic drop. You're glad for that, because you honestly don't want to talk about it at all. 

You and Dave walk to your next class in silence, and you get through the rest of the day with no commentary on your eye from anybody. Really shows how much people care in this school. 

Walking home with Dave is what you dread the most. You know he can see right through your bullshit, and that scares you. You don't want him to know the truth, you really _really_ don't want him to get involved in your shit- 

“Ready to go, John?” Dave asks as he walks up to you, and you nod. His voice is even more monotone at the moment, which leads you to believe he's trying to mask something. You don't want to think about what that something is. 

The two of you walk in silence, bumping shoulders every couple of minutes. Dave is glaring down at the ground, deep in thought. You're watching him and focusing on trying not to show the pain of walking on your face. 

Dave finally breaks the silence a couple minutes later. 

“It was Karkat, wasn't it?” Dave asks in a stiff voice. 

You consider lying, but Dave isn't an idiot. He can see straight through you. 

You nod, and Dave lets out a long breath through his nose. 

“What exactly happened?” He asks, and you sigh, signing the whole story to him. He watches carefully, looking more and more angry as you continue on with your story. You, of course, leave out the detail of Karkat talking about how you were gay. You know you've hinted at it before with Dave, but you don't plan on telling him anytime soon. What if he thinks you're a freak? 

When you're done, Dave looks at the ground, his anger showing on his face. 

“I should have walked you to the table.” 

You shrug with a sad smile. 'You can't. Your class is nowhere near mine.' 

“I'll walk you there from now on.” 

'By the time you find me, I bet you Terezi would find me first.' 

Dave lets out a long breath. “Just hurry up to the table faster, okay?” 

'I'll try.' 

Dave becomes silent again, and you really don't like this Dave. There is no easy sarcasm on his face, it's just scrunched up in tight anger. As much as you appreciate him being angry on your behalf, you really want someone to cheer you up right now. You tap his shoulder and tell him this, and a half-hearted smirk appears on his face. 

“No problem, bro. You summoned the majestic Strider, and you will get him.” 

You roll your eyes, smiling, and a ghost of a smile flickers on his face, just for a moment. You like that smile. 

He invites you into his house that day, and the two of you end up watching stupid reality MTV show while sitting with your shoulders pressed to each other. You're warm and comfortable, and Dave is making you feel better with his jokes regarding the girl on the television freaking out about a guy. You're laughing and grinning and Dave is biting his cheeks to contain his. You think you really starting to love your best friend. A lot. 

**===== > Dave: Have thoughts you don't want**

John is one of the few people you trust right now. You honestly wish Karkat would beat you up instead of him. You'd give up your voice for him, much like you'd give up your hearing for your brother. You hate seeing the people you care about suffer from their disabilities, and its making you upset. 

You could, of course, do more to help John. You could be tattling Karkat out to the principal at this very moment, ensuring John's safety. 

But you aren't. 

Why not, you ask? Because you're a huge fucking dickhole. 

So you still have a soft spot for Karkat. You two aren't friends anymore, definitely, but you can't help but... feel like you still have to protect him. Which is messed up as hell, and you hate yourself for it. You know Karkat is having troubles with his father, but that doesn't give him an excuse to hurt John. 

Yet you still feel bad for Karkat. You still won't tell on him, or ever confront him about John. 

You're the biggest piece of shit ever. It's you. 

You think of John with his dorky grin and horrible taste in films, and you wonder how he could ever be beaten up. You wonder if Karkat told him he knew he was gay. John didn't mention it, but then again, who would? 

You kick your bedpost. This is all your fault. You damned John, your best friend. The boy you've gotten significantly closer with these past few days, and are only getting closer. Some day he'll find out that you told Karkat, and you'll be screwed. But for now, you can only helplessly sit around while John will get hurt by Karkat. You can't do anything. You're literally the worst person ever. 

You wish more then anything that you could take back what you said about John to Karkat. Maybe then John wouldn't be getting hurt by him. 

You keep telling yourself that it'll eventually end. It'll eventually end, even when John walks home with more bruises on his face everyday. 

“Again?” You ask everyday, trying to keep your voice even. 

John just nods, and asks if you want to watch a movie when you get back. Or a video game. Or anything, really. He still wants to hang out with you, and he depends on you to get his mind off of the beatings. It's quite ironic that he does that, though. You were the one that started them in the first place. It's not even the good kind of irony, though. It's the horrible twisted kind. 

But that was only a taste of what was to come. 

That was the beginning of the first time John didn't meet you at his locker at the end of the day. You had no idea where he was, and you could only assume the worst. 

So when you opened the door at one in the morning to a sobbing John, you figured your whole life is going to change that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the next chapter will be drama filled, so look forward to that.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy : )

**==== > John: Have it get worse**

You're currently laying on your bed with a book above your face, squinting at the pages and taking in the information. It's been a few weeks since Karkat started hurting you again, and it has been almost a daily thing. It happens at lunch, no matter where your friends sit. Inside or out, Terezi always finds you first and drags you outside against your will. You're never afraid anymore, though. The past few days, in fact, you haven't even bothered fighting back. You just walk with her, your wrist tight in her grip as she pushes you in front of Karkat for another round of getting punched in the jaw or stomach. It's nothing really that serious, he never cripples you to the extent where you can't walk anymore. Mainly because he knows that if you were caught limping again, he'd be ratted out by someone. You doubt that that would happen, though. Who the fuck would tattle on Karkat fucking Vantas? 

Everyday when you finally arrive at the table, everyone gets silent. It makes your vocal chords constrict in a way that makes you think you'd be yelling at them if you could. You don't need their pity, you don't need anyone's pity. You've got it under control. You're not a pussy. 

You just want everyone to stop fucking staring at you with that sad look in their eyes like your life is the saddest story they've ever heard. Fuck them, you don't need that. 

You think the worst thing about getting hurt is Dave, though. 

Whenever the two of you walk home, he just asks if it hurts too much and if you need help and you shake your head. Then he looks down at the ground, his face scrunching up in a gesture you've come to realize is him trying not to look upset. You don't like it, and you always ask him if you want to play video games when you get back. He always agrees, and the two of you always end up shoulder to shoulder in your room or his playing games and not talking about it. 

You hate feeling helpless, because you aren't... completely. You can deal with a lot of shit, but you will have to eventually break. You don't want to think about when that time will be. 

Anyway, you're currently reading about vocal chords again. You're looking at pictures on the internet of diagrams of them, listening to acapella music, and feeling an itch deep in you that is dying to get out. You want to scream, you want to just be able to yell and scream at the top of your lungs until your throat burns. But you can't, you're different, and that's eating you from the inside out. 

You're on the internet, watching videos of acapella groups singing pop songs from the radio when Dave comes over later in the day. He says hello to you then flops down on your bed and takes out his homework, doing a math sheet. The two of you usually do homework together, mainly because you can help each other and you can be entertained whist doing so. Plus, the two of you live right next to each other, so why not have some company? 

But you're not doing your homework. You're staring at your computer, frustration welling in you. You listen to the smooth voices, the notes they can hit, and you lose it. You rip your headphones off and slam your hands on the table, biting your lip hard enough to make it bleed as you stand up. 

Dave jumps at the sudden noise, and looks up at you, his eyebrows furrowing. 

“Egbert? What's up?” 

You begin to pace, bringing up your hands to entangle in your hair and pull angrily. You see Dave out of the corner of your vision, and his pokerface is gone. Instead, it's replaced with a look of confusion and concern.

“Dude, stop. Calm down.” He says in slightly soothing tone, but you shake your head wildly. You can't calm down, you're confused and frustrated and angry at your body and- 

Dave huffs and gets up from his position on your bed to still you with his hands to your shoulders. 

“John.” He says sternly. “Can you calm the hell down and tell me what's wrong?” 

You take a large intake of breath and nod, then follow him back to your bed to sit down. He's silent, staring at you through his shades in an expression that says he's waiting for you to talk- er, well, sign. 

You push down the anger in frustration in you to bring up your hands to sign to him. 

'I hate not being able to speak. It's killing me, and I hate it. I just want to be able to talk to people and scream and...' You put your hands down, not finishing the sentence. Your eyes are starting to burn and _no, no, NO._ You're not going to cry you piece of- 

“Woah, Egbert, breathe.” Dave says gently, and you don't think you've ever seen this much emotion on Dave. His eyebrows are drawn together in something that looks like genuine concern, and you do as he says and breathe. 

He's silent for a moment, thinking. “I don't know why this is coming up now, dude. You've never been able to talk, right? Why do you feel the urge to now?” 

You shrug weakly. 'I don't know. I just want to be able to talk to you and the others.' 

Dave gives you a small smile, and wow, that's an actual smile. It's not a smirk, or a half-smirk, or him trying not to smile, it's him actually smiling. “I know. But hey, it's not like they mind you not being able to talk. They're perfectly fine with reading the messages on your phone. You bring something different, y'know? In a good way, too.” 

You let out another shaky breath and look away from Dave. 

“Hey.” Dave says, then pushes your shoulder slightly. “I'd totally swap my vocal chords for yours, dude. If I were able to give up my voice for you, I'd totally do it, hands down, no hesitation.” 

You look up at him, a grin growing on your face. Then, without thinking, you throw yourself forward and hug him. He makes a surprised noise, then slowly returns the hug. The two of you stay like that for a moment before you pull back and mouth “thank you”. 

He doesn't even try to hide his smile. “Hey, what are best friends for?” 

**===== > Dave: Have your life be changed**

Yet another 3 weeks of John getting hurt passes, and you feel helpless. You do the best you can to comfort John, though, and you always try to help him feel better at the end of the day. He at least deserves that. 

You never thought it would get worse, though. You thought it was only going to always be like this, seeing John get hurt only through the bruises on his face and the one's you've seen on his hips when his shirt slightly rides up at times while you're hanging out with him.

It never occurred to you that Karkat would want more. You never stopped to think, hey, this could progress into something way fucking worse then it already was.

You didn't until it was too late. 

Of course for obvious reasons, John is always late to lunch, but he always eventually shows up. You know he was at school that day, because you fucking walked him here in the morning, and when he didn't show up for lunch worry spiked in you. 

“Guys.” You say to your table, and they all become silent and look at you. “Where the fuck is John?” 

“I saw him go outside with someone I couldn't recognize before lunch. I tried to catch up to him, but he was moving too fast. By the time I got outside, he was nowhere in sight.” Aradia says, biting her lip nervously. 

Rose scrunches her eyebrows together. “Before we collectively flip out, we may want to think about where he may possibly be instead of being severely harmed.” 

“Yeah.” Jade pipes in. “Aradia might have seen wrong. John could be staying after with a teacher, or have detention, or left early-” 

“How could John have a detention or stay with a teacher? He can't talk!” Nepeta interrupts. “Plus, Aradia knows what she's talking about, right?” 

Aradia nods. “It was definitely John that I saw go outside just a while ago.” 

You stand up. “I'm going out to look for him. This is John we're talking about here. He's been bullied the past two weeks, and theres probably a big chance he's getting hurt right now.” 

“We should probably tell someone about that.” Jade says worriedly. 

“We can't. We don't know who is doing it. Even though we assume it's Karkat, there is no way to prove it.” Rose states, and you gulp. You probably could.

You decide you've had enough of this conversation and turn around to leave. However, before you can, Kanaya calls out your name. 

“Do you want me to come with you?” Kanaya asks softly, and you nod. 

“Sure, why not? The more the merrier.” 

– 

You and Kanaya spend the rest of lunch looking around the school looking for John or Karkat. You eventually don't find him, and concern piles up in your stomach. What if he was seriously hurt? What if he- 

Kanaya notices your internal freak out puts a hand on your shoulder. “Dave, calm down. John might have went home, you can check with his grandmother. If he isn't there, then you can take it a step further however way you would like.” 

You nod shortly. Yeah, you shouldn't lose your cool. He was probably home, he was probably _fine_ , and... you shouldn't freak out. 

You go through the rest of the day trying to keep your cool, but you can't help but be really worried. When the day is over, you still stand at his locker. He, of course, doesn't show. 

You walk home alone, concern rising up in you. What if he wasn't in his home? What the hell are you going to do then? 

You take out your phone to send a text to John to see if he replies. 

**\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 2:30 PM -–**  


TG: egbert   
TG: did you go home or something   
TG: because like you werent at lunch and aradia said she saw you going outside  
TG: so yeah if you get these please reply because i dont know if youre okay and yeah

**\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]-–**  


-

**\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 3:45 PM -–**  


TG: okay so its been like an hour  
TG: i checked your house and you werent there   
TG: so yeah uh im gonna check the neighborhood now so again if you get these please reply   
TG: im worried and stuff and wow that was lame but please reply 

**\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -–**  


-

**\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 5:00 PM -–**

TG: rose fuck im freaking out   
TT: What's going on?  
TG: ive been looking for john for two hours and his grandma has no idea where he is and SHIT  
TT: Perhaps we should inform the authorities. This is getting very serious.   
TG: but what if this is nothing i just   
TG: i dont know what to fucking do and im freaking out   
TG: im not going to call the police yet but like ok if he doesnt contact me by tonight im going to  
TT: Dave, you should calm down. I'm sure John is fine. I have to admit, I am very worried myself, but we have to try to stay positive.   
TG: he could be fucking dead rose  
TT: Don't say that.  
TG: but what if he is hes my best friend he could be dead fuck holy FUCK  
TT: If you're truly worried, then please alert the police, Dave. Keep me updated, alright? If he doesn't show by 1 o'clock in the morning, I myself am going to.   
TG: thats pretty late  
TT: We need to be sure before we make this a huge deal.  
TT: By the way, what did you tell his grandmother?  
TG: i told her that he was at another friends house for a project after i pretended i was texting him for her sake   
TG: i couldnt have her worry shes old and she cant afford to freak out over john so i told her that itll be late by the time they finish and he will stay at my house   
TG: if i told her the truth shed have a heart attack   
TG: im only fucking 17 and i think im getting grey hairs from this   
TT: Well, one o'clock in the morning, Dave.   
TT: If you don't tell me where he is by 1 o'clock, we are calling the police.  
TG: okay okay alright   
TG: im going to look around more 

**\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] -–**

\- 

You probably walked around your neighborhood 20 times by now. Your legs are sore, and it's 11:00 at night. The streets are dark, and you're staring at them, half expecting to see John run out of the shadows and laugh at you for totally falling for that prank. You don't. 

By the time it turns 12:00 at night, you finally head back inside, mosquito bites littering up and down your arms and your legs aching painfully. John has one hour until you send a wild man hunt on him.

You sit down on your couch downstairs, shaking. You can only assume the worst has happened to him, and you bury your face in your hands and try to focus on breathing. Your mother and brother are fast asleep by now, but you have to stay awake for now. And you'll eventually have to wake them up when you call the cops. 

You lay there for another 20 minutes before you hear it starting to thunder. By the time you look up outside a window, it is pouring outside. You see lightning flash across the sky, and fuck, this isn't fucking good this _isn't fucking good_ \- 

It's 12:37, and you hear a knock on your front door. 

You feel your breath stop in your throat. It isn't 1 o'clock yet, so it probably isn't the police, which means it could be... 

You run to the door and throw it open, peering out into the darkness until your eyes focus on a figure in front of you. 

John Egbert's nose is bleeding, and it's smeared all over his face. He has four large bruises scattered on his face, and he is sobbing. He is also soaking wet from the rain and gripping his stomach, a pained look on his face. 

You don't think you're breathing. 

Finally John moves forward and slumps into you, getting you wet while he wraps his arms around you and cries into your neck. You're frozen solid, hardly even breathing. John is very much hurt and pressed up against your body and shit you don't know how you feel about that. You haven't exactly known him for that long, though you consider him your best friend. He's the only one who has been genuine with you. 

“Fuck.” You finally breathe, returning his embrace while you close the door shut behind him. You eventually lead him to your couch and sit down with him on there, wet and muddy clothes and all. He just moves closer, practically sitting in your lap as he cries into your collarbone, getting you soaked in his tears and the rain water soaking his clothes. His grip on you is bone crushing, and he's clinging to you like he's afraid you're going to leave. You couldn't if you wanted to. 

You manage to sneak out your phone from in your pocket. 

**\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 12:50 AM –**

TG: hes fine  
TG: i found him   
TG: hes hurt but nothing too serious   
TG: im gonna go help him now okay dont call the police 

**\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] -–**

You put your phone away as John sniffles loudly, burying his face deeper into your shirt. You've never really been this close to him before, and the amount of contact is startling, but you don't mind it at all. John needs you, and besides, being this close to him is kind of nice. You decide that everyone needs a bit of comfort once and a while, especially John. He's gone long enough without cracking. 

You hesitantly begin rubbing his back soothingly, and his crying starts to slow down into sniffles into your neck and long sighs. 

“So,” You begin when you decide he's probably all cried out now, “Do you want to talk about it?” 

**===== > John: Explain what happened**

To be honest, you don't know what happened. 

It started with a simple beating. Karkat was taking you farther behind the school then normal today, punches with a little more power in them. 

Then, Karkat takes you and bashes your head against the concrete wall. You're out in an instant. 

The memories after that are foggy, just flashes of you beginning to become conscious while feeling Karkat kick you in the head so you pass out again. 

You remember flashes of intense pain, pain like you've never felt it before. Your ribs feel broken, your jaw feels shattered. 

You wake up late at night in a park in the dead black. You manage to make it off the ground to stumble into the road. You think you know where you are and manage to make it to Dave's house first. 

You don't know why you went there first, but you think Karkat broke your mind because you can't even think straight at that moment. Before you knock on his door, though. You pause. 

You look up, just noticing it pouring. You feel the flashes of pain in your face and head and ribs, and you think of something horrible. You think this is never going to end. Your life is never going to give you something good. 

You stare at Dave's door, tears filling your eyes. Dave doesn't deserve to deal with your shit. Dave probably hates you, you're annoying and mean and thats why you get hurt. 

A sob escapes from your mouth, and you figure you better just go home. However, your body has other ideas, and you lift up your hand to knock on the door. Dave answers it, and thats where you are now. 

Your brain has cleared a bit since you managed to drag yourself here, but it's still very foggy. All you can think is _Dave is here Dave is going to help_ and _Dave probably doesn't give a shit about you you're a worthless piece of shit._

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dave asks softly, and you shake your head. You hear him sigh, and you just notice the circles he's rubbing in your back. It feels nice. 

“We were going to call the cops, John.” Dave says, lifting up his other hand to stroke your hair almost subconsciously. “I was so fucking worried. I thought you fucking _died_.” Dave's voice wavers slightly, and you sniffle loudly again. 

“You have no idea how glad I am that you're okay. Well, you're not okay, but you're here and that's something.” 

You sniffle again, and Dave pulls back a bit so he can look you in the eyes. “How're you feeling?” 

You pull back your arms from where they're wrapped around him to sign: 'My head hurts. I might have a concussion.' Your face kind of heats up, because you were just kind of very touchy feel-y with Dave and you don't know how he would react- 

Dave looks worried, so you think _fuck it_ and bury your face in his chest this time. You don't want him to worry about you, you're a freak, you don't _deserve_ to be worried about- 

“If you start to feel nauseous or pass out, I'll bring you to the hospital, okay?” He looks at your face again. “Is your nose broken? It's bleeding a lot.” 

You touch your nose, and it doesn't hurt that much. Dave tells you he's going to get a washcloth to wash your face, and he gets up to go to the kitchen. When he gets up, you miss his warmth, so you opt for a pillow in place of his warmth and hug it to your chest. When Dave gets back and notices you hugging the pillow in his place, he laughs, but not meanly. 

He walks over and sits down on the couch, then touches your chin with his fingers to tilt your head up, scrubbing what you assume would be blood and mud off of your face. 

His fingers feel nice on your chin, you note. Gentle and delicate. How is Dave being this gentle? 

You also note that you don't deserve this in the slightest. 

You don't deserve his kindness, you don't deserve him him washing your face for you and treating you gently. You're shit, you don't deserve to be treated nicely. 

You feel your eyes burn again, and you sniffle and open your eyes. Dave's face isn't much farther from yours, and when he notices the tears in your eyes again, he sets aside the washcloth. 

“Hey,” He says softly, still holding your face in his hands. “It's okay. Don't cry, Egbutt.” 

You shake your head, trying not to cry again. God, you're a mess. You bring up your hands without thinking. 

'I hate myself.' 

Dave's face drops. “Don't say that, John, no-” 

You bring up your hands again. 'I want to die.' 

Dave pushes his shades to the top of his head. It's too dark to see his eye color, but you notice the freckles splashed across his cheeks and the wideness of his eyes. Did he do that to show you that he was worried? Your head is spinning too fast and you don't know the difference between reality and your imagination. 

“John, no. No, no, no. Don't ever say that.” He says, absentmindedly putting both his hands up to hold your face. You don't do anything, just look back at him with a sad expression. 

“Fuck.” He breathes, then pulls you in to hug you again. When he pulls back, his face isn't much farther from yours. 

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry this has to happen to you. You don't deserve it in the slightest and this is all my _fault_ and holy shit John you're the only one who has ever actually cared I don't want you to _die._ ” His voice cracks on the word “die.” 

You shrug numbly, and Dave shakes his head, his emotions written all across his face and in his eyes. You've never seen him like this before, you've never seen him so open with you. Your hazy brain is running through more thoughts of _is this real?_ and _why is he being so kind to you?_

He hesitates, thinking a bit, before leaning in. You have just enough time to wonder _what the fuck?_ before he pecks one of the bruises on your face. 

You freeze and close your eyes, barely breathing even though it wasn't a big deal. He just kissed a bruise on your face why are you making this a big deal _this isn't a big deal_ \- 

He moves to your cheekbone and quickly pecks the other one, and your breath hitches. 

He moves to the last one on your face and pecks it quickly again, pulling back. You don't open your eyes yet, but when you do Dave is smirking a bit with his eyebrows raised. It isn't a cocky smirk, though, and thats a nice change. More like a small smile. 

“Sorry about that. I thought it would help, y'know?” He pauses, face slightly reddening. “That was really lame, but anyway, it's like 2:00, dude. We need to sleep.” 

You nod numbly, getting up and following Dave upstairs, your head spinning. You're not even sure from what anymore. You're not even sure if this is reality right now. 

You follow him into his room and he quickly gives you dry clothes to change into. You stumble to the bathroom, quickly changing. Before you go, though, you look in the mirror. Your eyes are red and there are three horrible bruises on your face. Those are the ones that Dave kissed. Your hair is all over the place, and you look just like you feel. Horrible. 

You walk back into Dave's room, and he's waiting for you. You slip into one side of his bed while he slips on the other side. You can't even bring yourself to care that you're sharing a bed with him. 

He turns out the light and you're left in darkness, staring up at the ceiling. 

“Hey, Egbert?” Dave asks, turning to you. You turn your head to look back at him. 

“Don't tell anyone I did that, okay? It's, uh, kind of embarrassing.” He says softly, and you manage a weak smile and a nod. 

He then turns away, and 20 minutes later you hear his breathing even out. 

You're still awake, looking up at the ceiling and thinking. 

Your brain is still really fuzzy, but you can still think of one thing. 

It felt very nice when Dave kissed your bruises. Very, very nice. 

You smile up at the ceiling, bringing up a hand to touch your cheek. Dave kissed you. Dave kissed you, and it felt nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more drama in the next chapter, but woo kind of first kisses! 
> 
> i actually am currently writing a quick oneshot (*cough cough* one where dave and john are internet boyfriends and they meet in the airport and dave is shaking and awwwww i think it's the cutest ever *cough cough*) so i'll post the link to it in the next update, though i think it'll be up in today or tomorrow! it's gonna be called "christmas drag", so look out for that if you wanna.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh goSh. i'm very sorry for the wait, i've just been a bit ( a lot ) sidetracked. i have finals this week, i literally just came back from one two hours ago. however, i only have them for two more days, then its summer vacation! and that means i will have literally nothing to do, so expect more stories from me and more frequent updates. so yeah! enjoy!

**==== >Dave: Be kind of embarrassed**

The first thing you notice when you wake up is the warm air being blown on your chin. It's quite bright out, so when you finally manage to crack an eye open, you're face to face with the sleeping John Egbert.

You two aren't cuddled together or anything, you're just turned towards each other with your faces close. Your eyes widen and you scoot back, John's breath no longer warming your chin. 

The space between your eyes hurts very much, and you're aware that you forgot to take off your shades before you fell asleep. Remembering that, you lift them off your face and rub your eyes. You can actually feel the indent they left on your face, raw skin sensitive to the touch. This is probably going to be visible even from behind your shades, and you audibly groan. 

You guess you forgot that John was there because he shifts slightly in his sleep at the noise, edging a bit closer to you. You try to scoot farther away, but the wall is behind you and you physically can't move farther away. You're trapped between a wall and Egbert sandwich. 

You sigh, defeated, then place your shades back on your face, their darkness protecting you from the bright lights of the morning. 

You decide to take the fact that John is corning you into the wall to look at his sleeping form. 

His mouth is open and he is, in fact, drooling on your pillow. You almost gag. You SLEPT on that pillow. Ugh, stupid John. Other than that, the bruises on his face are as obvious as ever. Three purple spots on his face. His hair is also wild, traces of leaves and grass stuck in it. 

His eyes are twitching, and you realize his glasses are still on his face as well. You gently take them off his face and reach over him to place them on your nightstand. It left a mark on his face as well. Looks like you're both idiots. 

You release a deep breath, looking at the bruises again. They contrast with the paleness of his skin, and you figure you have to find something to cover that up. If he goes home looking like that, his Nanna would flip out. 

You sit there, wondering how the fuck you're going to do this, when it hits you. 

Dirk. 

Dirk always helps you out when you need shit, and he has a million random things in his room.... you wouldn't doubt that he had women's concealer. 

You carefully slide down the wall, not to disturb John, and manage to wiggle your way off the bed and fall gracelessly on the ground. You bang your elbow too on the way down, as well, so you... _possibly_ spend 3 minutes holding your elbow and trying not to swear. 

After that, you manage to get yourself up off the ground and quietly walk into Dirk's room, going in without knocking. 

Dirk is staring out of his window, and you have to contain a laugh. He looks like a stupid scene from a movie or some shit. 

Either way, you walk over quietly and tap his shoulder, trying to scare him. He turns around, not affected at all by your sneak attack, and sneers. 

“I could see you out of the corner of my eye, y'know.” 

You raise an eyebrow. Dirk seems a little pissy today. Probably has something to do with that Jake kid, since this is the first fucking day he hasn't been glued to Dirk's side. 

'Whatever. Anyway, I need you to do me a favor.' 

“ _Anything._ ” Dirk says sarcastically, and you chose to ignore that. 

'Can you get me women's concealer? Like, the makeup kind?' 

Dirk looks at you for a moment longer before cracking a small smile. “You're messed up, y'know that? I don't wanna know what _you_ do in your spare time, but sure, I'll get it for you.” 

You give a slight nod. 'Thanks, bro.' 

You turn around to leave, but before you go, you hear Dirk call after you. 

“Would you like me to get you lipstick with that, too?”

You scowl and turn around to grab the nearest robot arm laying on the floor before chucking it at him. He makes a sound of protest, and you roll your eyes from behind your shades. 

'Get it to me by 1 hour.' 

He scoffs. “Nice giving me a short deadline. I'm going to actually have to _buy_ it now.” 

The two of you stare at each other for a moment longer before breaking into laughter. 

He's not going to buy it. 

**==== >John: Wake up**

You are awoken by the banter of two people. As you slowly open your eyes, you make out two figures with blonde hair and dark things on their faces. Your vision is very fuzzy, and you realize you're not wearing your glasses. 

The first one turns to you. “Oh, he's awake.” 

You recognize that voice as the voice of Dave, so you sit up a bit and rub your eyes. 

'Where is my glasses?' You sign, realizing that your wrist hurt a lot after you've done it. 

Dave picks up something by the side to you and holds it out to you. You pick them up, sliding them on your face. That's better. 

You see Dave and his brother Dirk standing next to the bed, Dirk holding a tube of skin colored liquid. 

You give them your best 'uh' face before Dirk sighs. 

“This is concealer. We need to cover your bruises before you go home or whatever, so do you think you can put it on yourself?” 

You try your wrist out, to find that it hurts... very bad. You cringe, and Dave notices. 

“He can't.” He says to his brother, not even bothering to do sign language. Either way, Dirk still understands him through reading his lips. 

“Can you sign?” 

You try to bring your hands up but it hurts too much, your wrist looking a ghastly purple. 

“Dude, we gotta bring him to the hospital for that.” Dirk says to Dave.

“We can't! What're we gonna tell his grandma?” 

“Tell her that he fell or some shit and you carried him home like the brave solider you are and boom! You just got hero status _and_ helped John.” 

Dave scoffs. “I'm not lying.” 

“Then I will.” 

“Whatever.” 

It's quiet for a moment, and you quirk an eyebrow, unamused. Your wrist is hurting like no bitch knows, but you ignore the throbbing pain. 

They then put the concealer on you in thick layers, and Dave carries you bridal style to your home with Dirk, so they can explain a bullshit story on how you fell. 

The fact that you don't even bother telling Dave that your legs we absolutely fine and you can walk on your own worries you. 

– 

Your Nanna, of course, eats the story up and immediately drives you to the hospital, ranting about how nice of it was that Dirk and Dave helped you. You try to resist the urge to silently scoff. They definitely helped you in a way, but you don't think they're fucking heroes. 

You spend around 4 days in the hospital with a badly sprained wrist. You stay there while they have your wrist in a locked position, trying to get it to heal. Your Nanna visits frequently to check up on you and give you some cookies (though you think they're not allowed.... your Nanna literally smuggles in cookies to the hospital. You giggle at the thought). However, the days are boring, of course, except when Dave visits. 

Which you hate to admit, but it's the best part of your day. 

He usually comes after school, and tells you about what is happening in your group of friends, or plays dumb games with you that somehow turn into something funny. 

Your bruises surprisingly fade quickly, but Dave puts a fresh coat of concealer on your face everyday just in case. You try not to stare at his face as he leans in to rub it on yours. 

When Dave isn't there, however, he's texting you during school. Of course, it takes twice as long because you can only text with one hand... your left hand. Which makes it all the more difficult and takes what would be a 2 second text into a 2 minute one. 

–

TG: so youre coming back to school tomorrow right  
EB: yup!!  
TG: thank fucking god   
TG: i dont know how many more makeout sessions rose and kanaya will have in front of me for me to fuckin flip my shit  
EB: hehe, just tell them to stop doing so much pda!!  
TG: i dont have the heart to   
TG: i am a man of romance egbert  
TG: i would stab my own left foot before i kill a touching moment   
EB: i can't help but notice your oozing sarcasm in that statement.  
TG: gasp  
TG: john  
TG: how could you even suggest such a thing   
TG: i love romance im a fucking pro  
TG: im probably like the obama in romance  
EB: that literally makes no sense.  
TG: yes it does egboop  
TG: you just gotta believe   
EB: you're an idiot. 

You hate him for making your stomach erupt in butterflies because of that. You don't want to have a crush on Dave, you _can't have a crush on fucking Dave._ Out of all the wrong people to have a crush on in the world, Dave is probably #1. It would ruin your friendship, and you will probably lose the only friend you've ever had. Which you don't want. 

Though you don't like to think about it, your mind always wanders back to The Night (which is now capitalized because of it's importance to yours and Dave's relationship.) You think about how he must have felt when you cried on him, mainly because your relationship wasn't much of a.... physical comfort one. The only times Dave has really ever touched you to make you feel better is the day you flipped out because of your disorder, and The Night. 

You mind also frequently wanders to his kiss. And god damn, you would kill for him to do that again. 

–

That evening, you are released from the hospital and are allowed to go to school the next day. Right when you get home, you ignore Dave's texts about wanting to hang out. You just put some comfortable clothes on, and climb into your bed to go to sleep at 5:30 PM. You don't really want to deal with the whole “feelings” ordeal yet. 

–

The next day, Dave arrives at your door bright and early. You regard him warily, and he frowns a bit. 

“What, not excited to see my shining gem of a face today, Egbert?” 

_No, it's just that your stupid shining gem of a face is causing me emotional turmoil_ , you think, but you put up your hands to sign: 'How could I not be?' 

He smirks, and you ignore that in favor of grabbing something to eat before heading out with him. 

“So,” Dave begins, bumping your shoulder with his. “You ignored my texts last night.” 

You sigh. 'I wasn't. I just went to sleep early.' 

He snorts. “You went to bed at 5?” You nod. “ _Lame_.” 

When you don't reply, he sighs a bit himself. “I'm startin' to think you're angry at me, Egbuns.” 

'I'm not.' 

“Then why are you acting like I'm annoying you?” 

'You aren't.' 

“But you're _acting_ like it.” 

'Well, you're not.' 

He sighs dramatically. “I thought we were biffles, Egboob. How're we supposed to keep that up if you start keepin' your issues to yourself?”

A spark of annoyance flares in you. 'It doesn't concern you.' 

“Doesn't mean I can't help.” 

'Well I don't want you to!' 

He scoffs at that, and thankfully drops the topic. He's acting like he doesn't care, you know that face he's pulling by now. You've hurt him a bit. His jaw is locked tight and his hands are in slight fists at his sides. He's pouting, and its simultaneously adorable and annoying at the same time. 

You let out a sharp breath. 'I'll tell you later, okay?' 

“Whatever, John.” 

Apparently he's more offended than you took him for, because he's using your first name instead of a creepy nickname variation of your last, and his response is clipped. 

But you can't tell him, you never can. You can't take rejection from the first friend you've ever made. 

–

All throughout the day, you've come to realize two things. One, Dave is being a total bitch and purposely ignoring you because of the conversation you two had in the morning, and you don't know what you're going to do when you go for your “daily beating” or whatever it was. 

And by that, you mean you have a different attitude today. You're pissed off. You're so fucking pissed off for Karkat landing you in the hospital, and you're sick of his shit. Hospital bills are fucking expensive, that little prick. 

So when lunch rolls around, you do the stupidest thing you can think of. 

You don't even wait for that Terezi girl, you just walk outside, a confidence in your step you didn't even know you had. 

When you get outside, you go in the direction that Terezi usually leads you, and walk into the clearing where Karkat and Terezi were holding hands and talking. 

When you arrive, they both look up at you. You watch Karkat's expression go from shock, to recognition, to anger. 

He steps up quickly, yanking his hand from Terezi's. You distantly hear her protests and her telling Karkat to not even bother with you. You think that was meant to be slightly rude towards you, but you can hear in her voice that she truly is worried for the both of you. You remember the sad look she has when she brings you here. Maybe she does feel bad, but her pity means nothing. Nobody’s pity ever means anything to you, not even Dave's. Pity isn't helping. What good does it do for your situation? Nothing. 

“Well, well, well.” Karkat says, brushing off his hands. “Haven't seen you in a couple days, _John_. How have you been? You've been hiding from us, huh?” He says with the most disgusting smirk, and you lose it. Your brain and any sense of sanity has just checked out, because in the moment all you can see that smirk you hate with all your being, and you fucking lose it. 

You rear back your fist faster than he could realize, and before his eyes even have a chance to get wide, your fist is smashing into his nose with a satisfying _crack._ You don't think you've ever heard a more beautiful sound. 

Karkat reels back, and immediately his hands fly up to his nose. He brings them back to look at them, and they're covered in blood. You probably just broke his nose. 

You both pause for a moment, everything silent. You don't even think you're breathing, your lungs frozen in your chest. 

Then Karkat lets out a furious snarl and jumps forward, punching you in the ribs so all the air goes out of you, not like you were using it or anything. 

Your hands wrap around your middle and you crouch down long enough for him to punch you painfully in the side. Your mouth flies open in pain, and he gives several more blows to your chest area before you drop to the ground. 

He and Terezi then stand over you, and you don't think you could be more humilated. Then he spits on you, and oh, there we go. 

“Don't fucking touch me ever again.” He snarls.

Then he leaves with Terezi, and you can hear him talking about how much his nose hurts. 

\--

You manage to peel yourself off the ground a while later, and you barely make it to your next period after lunch on time. 

Waiting in front of your locker at the end of the day, people are whispering to each other non-stop. You don't really think much of it, since people whisper all the time, but you have the suspicion that their whispers have something to do with you today. 

When Dave finally gets to you, he's still full on pouty-pokerface. You want to tell him to knock it off, but you kind of know how he feels. You'd be pretty pissed if Dave was keeping something from you, too. 

The walk home together is silent, and the two of you don't say one word to each other until you get to your houses. Before you can split off to go into your own, Dave grabs your wrist. 

“John, come with me. We gotta talk about something.” 

_Oh god,_ you think, but hesitantly follow behind him and into his home. He leads you upstairs and to his room, and plops down on the bed, gesturing for you to sit next to him. 

You lightly sit down and perk an eyebrow. 

“Did you hear what everyone was talking about?” 

You shake your head no. 

“After lunch today, an ambulance had to come to the school. They took Karkat. His nose was broken, from what I've heard. John, did you do that?” 

There it is, your first name again. But wait...

You pause. 

Karkat had to go to the _hospital?_

Giddy joy swells up in you, and you don't even feel disgusted about it. Karkat made you go to the hospital, and now you made him have to. He fucking deserved it, and he got what he paid for. You can't help the twisted smirk that shows up on your face. 

Dave notices and his eyes visibly widen behind his shades. “John, that's not a fucking good thing. Nobody ever fights back, and the people that do are hurt even worse. Fuck, John, you're gonna get yourself killed for that!” 

You scoff. Killed? No way. 

“Plus, the school is looking for whoever did it. And just because you won't, it doesn't mean that Karkat won't tattle on you. And if the slim chance happens that he doesn't, he's planning something worse. I would know.” 

Your smile drops, and you narrow your eyes. 'I'll be fine.' 

“No, no you fucking won't, John. I don't think you fucking understand the seriousness of this situation!” 

'I do, I just don't care.' 

Dave makes a frustrated sound, then lifts up his shades to rub his eyes before he drops them back down again. “What did he do after you punched his nose or whatever?” 

You don't say - er... sign anything, and Dave narrows his eyes. 

“John.” He says in his serious voice, and you let out a long breath. Jeez, he was really on your fucking case today. You get that he's worrying about you, but you don't deserve it. 

You stand up and lift your shirt. You look down and fail to be surprised at the bruises littering your chest and ribs. You're almost used to the sight by now. 

Dave sighs sadly, and you continue to do nothing. 

“Lay down.” He says, and you peak an eyebrow. What? 

“Lay down.” He says again, and you sigh dramatically then do as he says, your head on his pillow as he gets off the bed to sit up next to you. 

He lifts up your shirt, and your vocal chords constrict in what would be a yelp as you jump a bit. Dave notices and smirks a bit. 

“Calm down, Egbear. I'm trying to help here. Don't freak out or anything, I'm not trying to creep on you or whatever.” 

He leans down and kisses the first bruise on your rib, and you can't breathe. It was quick and chaste, but it still made your skin feel like it was on fire. God damn, you fucking _wish_ he was "creeping on you" or whatever. 

He pressed two more kisses to other ones, and you're trying to focus on breathing in and out. You don't want to do anything... embarrassing. 

As he continues kissing down the bruises on your stomach, you can't help to wonder what this would be like if this was a different situation. If bruises weren't the reason he was kissing down your stomach. 

And yeah, you want that. You want that so fucking bad it makes your blood hum and your fists clentch. 

You are John Egbert, and you want Dave Strider more than anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, i'm sorry for the wait. i know a couple of you asked when i would update on my blog, heh. but yeah! anyway, i wrote another fic a while ago called "christmas drag", which was fun to write and i'm very proud of it. if you want to check it out, it's a oneshot, and can be found [here!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/833839) i'd love it if you would read it  
> : ) 
> 
> anyway, this is just a small sidenote, but i think i have a new idea for a fic? i'm thinkin a mental hospital AU, where dave is a bit mentally ill, and john is a volunteer at the hospital. i think that would be the cutest thing ever oh my gOSH I WANT TO WRITE IT YES IM FUCKIN DOING IT NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME YES OK **[READ THIS THIS IS THE SUMMARY I JUST WROTE OF IT IDK](http://johnegdaddy.tumblr.com/post/53206294329/more-sort-of-based-off-the-book-movie-its)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im very sorry this is very very late arg. it's pretty hard to keep track of the days that go by when you're continuously watching teen titans and sleeping and ignoring all responsibilities like actually going out with friends and having a life but oH WELL THATS MY SUMMER FOR YA 
> 
> anyway, gettin back on track here, i didn't really realize how many people read this fic until now? like geezus 5,000 hits i mean this is the most i've ever gotten and people message me a lot tellin me how much they like it and it's crazy and im so haPPY ahH YEs
> 
> im sorry this is very short ah god im dumb and im also sorry if it sucks i had to force myself to write this ugh ive been having some writers block

**===== >Dave: Stop subconsciously leading John on **

You really need to stop leading John on without knowing it. But of course, you can't, because _you don't fucking know it._

When you kissed John's bruises, you honestly didn't mean it in a sexual way. You are aware of the fact that best bro's usually don't kiss each other's chests, but you and John aren't exactly normal, are you? You practically got him into this mess, you have to comfort him in some way, even if it could be considered... creepy, you guess. John didn't seem to mind, from what you know. He didn't tell you to stop or anything. 

And to be honest, you're doing it for your sake more than his. 

Your guilt is eating you alive, even though it's not even necessarily your fault anymore. You still feel fuckin' horrible, which is why you kiss his bruises. It's becoming a daily thing now, and with each passing day there are more bruises for you to peck and more guilt eating your insides. 

It should be weird, but to you it isn't. John is your best friend, and the only genuine friend you've really ever had. You're his first best friend too, so obviously one would assume that you would be extremely close, and you thought kissing his bruises would be considerably harmless. It's not like you're pulling down his pants and giving him a fucking blowjob, you're just doing the best of your abilities to make him feel better. 

And you knew Karkat was going to go harder on him, John sent him to the hospital! You knew from your experiences as his “friend”, he always gets extremely angry when people attempt to fight back, much less send _him_ to the hospital. There was no doubt in your mind that Karkat would do his worst. And as it turns out, he does. 

**===== >John: Get into a fist fight**

The amount Dave is worrying over you is really taking a toll on you. He hardly ever leaves his side, and when you call him out on it, he pretends that he doesn't know what you're talking about. Honestly, though you have a crush on the guy, his overbearingness can be a bit overwhelming. 

And you don't even know what for! You think it's because he's worried Karkat is going to get you back, but you're taking a stand to that. You're going to do everything in your ability to avoid Terezi, which might possibly include hiding in the bathroom until it was the middle of lunch. 

The first day you do it, you literally sit there wondering why the fuck you didn't do this in the first place. You think it has something to do with your dignity, you're not little or helpless and you guess you kind of wanted to prove that by taking Karkat's beatings without complaining. By sitting in the bathroom and avoiding Karkat to the best of your ability, you are actually swallowing your pride and letting yourself down. 

You pride yourself in being tough, and sitting in the bathroom avoiding being bullied isn't exactly tough. But you've taken it for months, and you're sick of it. You honestly can't take it anymore, and it's time to admit it. 

And it works. You manage to avoid getting hurt by Karkat for two weeks, but to be honest, with each passing day it's crawling on your skin more and more. He could easily find you and hurt you, which makes you wonder why he hasn't done it already. By the third week, Dave's assumptions are all you can think of. You're _positive_ he's going to hurt you worse than ever before, that he's planning something huge like your death. 

But each time you think of something like that, you shake it out of your mind. He can't _kill_ you, right? You'll be fine... right? 

You're having a hard time believing it yourself. 

But, you know what you're going to do. If Karkat attempts to hurt you, you're going to fight back. No doubt in your mind about it. You're sick of him, and you're 100% positive you would tell him off if you could. Maybe you will, if you can manage to type out a long message and have him fucking read it next time you see each other. 

You have no doubt in your mind there will be one more stand off between you and Karkat. It could be your last one, or it could be the start of many more to come. But you know you're not going to let that happen. 

So when you're standing by your locker one day waiting for Dave, you can't find it in yourself to even be surprised when you hear Karkat's voice behind you. 

“Fancy meeting you here, _John_.” You hear his voice snarl behind you. 

You turn around, your face blank. You have been waiting for this for weeks, and for not one second are you going to let him think you're scared. 

Today he's alone, his little girlfriend or whatever not there beside him. He's smirking at you, and you don't even allow yourself to be disgusted at it. There is a dark spot on his face that contrasts with the rest of his features, that looks suspiciously like a bruise, which you narrow your eyes in confusion at. You didn't punch him there, you know that for a fact. You've replayed your punch to his nose in your mind continuously for the past few weeks, so you know that bruise doesn't belong to you. But the bandage on his nose does. You allow yourself to feel internally happy at that, but you still find yourself wondering what caused the bruise on his face. Maybe his stupid girlfriend punched him or something when she realized he was the biggest dick in the history of the world. 

You peak an eyebrow, unamused, as to ask _what the hell do you want?_

His smirk grows. “Haven't seen you in a while, huh? Wonder why that's been. Maybe we should catch up somewhere else.” 

You make direct eye contact with him, your sharp gaze not leaving his while you think. You can't back down from this, you swallowed too much of your pride the last few weeks. You're going to fight him, and you're going to win. 

You just barely nod, and he gives a predatory grin. “Great. Let's take this somewhere else.” 

He turns around, not grabbing your wrist or anything, just walking towards the exit. He doesn't check to look if you're following him, which lets you know he knows you're going to fight him back. You don't know what that means for you, but whatever it is, you can take it. You know you can. 

You also pray to everything holy that Dave doesn't see you or try to stop it. You want this to happen, you _need_ this to happen. There is a fire running through you that makes your fists clench and your throat tighten. You want to hurt this boy more than anything in the world. You want to hurt him for the continuous amount of pain he brings you everyday, and you need more than just a fist to a nose. You need way fucking more. 

Following Karkat for about 10 minutes of walking, he leads you out of the school and around a mile from it, in the middle of the woods near the park where he last hurt you. You look around, nobody in sight, and Karkat turns around to look at you. 

“It's just you and I now, isn't it?” He asks calmly, looking at you with an ease you've never seen him have before. Something changed in him too, and you don't know what it is. 

You nod, licking your lips and taking a deep breath. 

It's still between you two, the air unmoving and disturbingly dead silent. You're both looking at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move. You know it's going to be Karkat, it always is. 

As expected, he shoots forward, taking the cheap shots to your middle like he always does. You, of course, predicted this. You've been studying him for months, and have been planning this fight, _obsessing_ over it. You refuse to tell anyone, though, even Dave. They can never know how big of a deal this is to you, you don't want them to see this side of you. 

You grab his wrist before it hits you, twisted it then bringing up your leg to kick him roughly in the stomach. His eyes widen, obviously not expecting that, and brings his hands to his stomach which leaves you able to crash your fist into his cheek. He brings his hand up to cradle his cheek, and you don't strike again, just step back and watch him as he watches you, leaving time for him to become aware that you're actually going to go down swinging. You want to have a fair fight, you don't want to take cheap shots like _him_. 

He pants, trying to catch his breath while he stares at you with his dark eyes. 

“You're going to fight me?” He says, panting between his words. He doesn't even snarl it, which you register as him giving you a tiny bit of respect. You don't want his respect and granted he doesn't give you much of it, but it's there. 

You nod, and he stands up straighter, still staring into your eyes. 

“Then we'll bet on it. I have a preposition for you.” 

You nod again, and he gives a small smirk. “If you win this fight, I'll never bother you again. If you lose this fight, I get to do whatever I want to you for as long as I want without you telling anybody or tattling on me, deal?” 

You chew on your lip a bit, looking away. It obviously sounded appealing, but the “whatever I want to you” part sounded a bit sketchy to you. Who fucking knows what this sicko would want to do to you? 

Nevertheless, you connect your eyes with him and nod slightly, like you did before. When you say you're not going to let him think you're scared of him, you mean it. You're going to win this, no matter what. 

He smirks again, cracking his knuckles in front of him in a way you suppose should be menacing, but just looks plain stupid. God, do you hate this kid. “Good. Then lets do this.” 

He shoots forward again, and god he's an dumb fighter. He should really know by now that you know his style, which is a dangerous disadvantage on his part. You stop him again, bringing up your fist yet again to punch him in the jaw. He reels back and recovers, then quickly returns the favor and sends a hard punch in your chin. 

The two of you throw a couple more punches to your face area, you have to admit you're equally matched. But you're actually enjoying this, you've never felt more natural doing something. The pain is easy to ignore and actually feels sort of good, and letting your anger out on the boy who started it in the first place is really making you feel a shit ton better. 

Then Karkat, of course, takes a cheap shot to the back of your knee, causing you to go tumbling down. He stands over you, a triumphant look on his face, before he shoots forward again. Before he can manage to take a shot at you, however, you bring your knee up and hit him directly in the groin. 

He stops, his face turning white, before he lets out a pained squeak and tumbles down onto the ground next to you. You smirk as you begin to get up again, you can play dirty too. 

You throw a couple more punches until he looks dazed, and you feel joy running through you. You're going to win this fight, you're going to finally get rid of him- 

Then, before he looks like he's going to pass out, he brings his fist up without you noticing and lands a particularity hard punch on your temple. You reel back, your vision going fuzzy and slightly darkening, until you move fall on the ground next to him and stare at the sky until your vision goes black. 

When you wake up a couple minutes later, Karkat is still next to you, and you crane your head to see him passed out, a couple nasty bruises scattered around his face. Feeling a painful pounding in your head, you turn your face back up to the sky. You'd consider this a tie. 

After a bit, you feel Karkat get up next to you, and you jump a bit in surprise. He stands up, limping slightly as he begins his descent out of the woods. He doesn't turn around, or acknowledge you at all. He knows he lost just as much as you. 

You close your eyes and take another deep breath when he finally goes out of your vision range. Your head is throbbing painfully, and you can't even think straight because of it. If you thought Karkat gave you a concussion before, he definitely gave you one today. 

You fall in and out of consciousness for another few hours, until the sky is a dark blue and you feel like you're going to puke. You sit up, leaning against a tree and rubbing your head until you feel the urge to puke take over you, and you lean to the side to do so. When you finish, you wipe your mouth and sit up to lean against the tree again. You have a concussion now, you're sure. You can't even get up, your head blaring a pain you never felt before until tears roll down your cheeks and you pray for someone to help you. You can't call 911, because you _can't fucking talk_. You're going to _die_ here, oh shit...

You slowly take out your phone, tuning it on. The brightness of the screen makes you lean to the side and puke again, but you manage to squint your eyes so that you can make out a text to Dave. You see that you already have a few from him, probably worrying about where you are. 

**\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--**  
EB: ddave heelp  
TG: egbert holy shit where the fuck are you?   
EB: i cant r easd that my he ad hurts im in the w oosd next to the p ark  
TG: the woods next to the park?  
EB: heelsp  
TG: ok ok ill be right there ok dont move youll be fine

You silently groan, your head releasing another painful set of throbs that hurt even worse then the last time. 

You lose track of time, the world spinning around you when you suddenly hear the crunching of twigs, and finally two hands upon your shoulders. 

“Egbert?” The voice asks, and you cringe violently, the voice too loud for the quiet surrounding you. 

“Sorry.” It says, quieter this time. “Are you okay?” 

You manage to shake your head through the pain, and after a bit more dialogue from the voice in which you tune out, you're being lifted up and there are flashing lights. 

**===== > Dave: Take a stand**

After you found John in the woods that night, you called an ambulance after he puked all over you and didn't remember who you were. After being checked out at the hospital, it was announced that John had a serious concussion. 

John's Nanna practically went crazy when you told her, demanding who did this to John. 

“Has he been bullied? I knew he has! He never told me it but....” She rambles on, staring at the ground of the waiting room, you next to her. John has to miss a month or two of school, and nobody can visit him when he has to go home. Still, you go everyday to the hospital and keep his Nanna company. 

“Do you know who did this?” She asks suddenly, turning to you with wide eyes. 

“I, um...” You pause shortly. “Yeah, I do. His name is Karkat.” 

Her eyes narrow. “Oh, I will let the school know and give that boy a piece of my mind-” 

“No, it's fine.” You cut her off with. “I'm gonna take care of it myself.” 

She blinks. “What? How?” 

“I'm going to tell the school myself. I've let this gone on for too long.” You say shortly, then stand up. “I'll see you tomorrow, Jane.” 

–

As you walk out of the hospital that day, you realize that you finally need to do something. 

You're going to finally fucking tattle on Karkat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS WAS SO SHORT IM SORRY 
> 
> you have no idea how hard it was to not make karkat and john make out in like an anger way that i find rlly hot like when two people make out and hate each other just GOSH MAN it took a lot of fuckin' willpower geez 
> 
> but yeah i gots some announcements so brace yourself 
> 
> bring out your tissues cuz blam this fic is going to end soon i dunno i think i have around 2 or 3 more chapters left to write sobs sobs osbs but imma write the first chapter of the dirkjake sister fic as we speak
> 
> NEXT ANNOUNCEMENT i wrote another short davejohn oneshot which can be found [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/856715) (remember to read the beginning notes before you read it, though. 
> 
> FINAL ANNOUNCEMENT i am going to write another long chaptered davejohn fic after this one, which is of course the mental hospital au. the summary (if you missed it from the last chapter) can be found [here](http://johnegdaddy.tumblr.com/post/53206294329/more-sort-of-based-off-the-book-movie-its), and i'm going to be working on the first chapter very soon!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this chapter isn't too fluffy for ya (/ - \\)
> 
> im also sorry if it sucks i just aRG writing fics is blUH 
> 
> the comments give me inspiration to write this, though! thank you for all your nice words! it means a lot : ) 
> 
> enjoy!

**===== >Dave: Do the right thing**

Bright and early on a monday morning, a few weeks after John got hospitalized, you walk to school alone. John is still in the hospital, and the knowledge of that just puts more anger in your step as you trudge to school, a scowl set in your face. 

Today, before you go to any of your classes, you are going to schedule an appointment with the principal of the school. An appointment, in which you will do the long overdue task of telling the school on Karkat Vantas. 

Your “feelings” or whatever dumb excuse you had for actually not busting this douche's balls before are completely gone, and you were just filled with white hot anger. It's one thing to be sent to the hospital with a minor injury, but John was sent for a _concussion_ , which he could have _died_ from. 

And that was it, that was the final straw. You have officially given up on dancing around the problem, and you're going to address it head on taking drastic measures. You're stopping this once and for all. 

You scheduled the appointment for your free period, which was also lunch time. So for the first couple classes of the day, you were completely out of it. Which was pretty bad, considering you had some important lessons taught to you but... fuck it. School is over in two months, anyway. 

When the time finally came for you to report to the main office for the appointment, your heart was racing at an insane pace, making you feel light headed. You're doing this, you're honestly doing this. You're going to get Karkat suspended. You're making this happen.

He deserves it, though, the little fucking prick. You can't believe how long you let that shitstain walk all over you like you're a shitty ass rug. You were literally PINING over him, he was your everything back when you were friends and you had the disgusting crush on him. You deem that crush a product of stockholm syndrome, you were so fucking scared of him you fell for him. 

But not anymore. 

You're going to bring your best friend peace, finally. He deserves it, honestly. John is the best thing that ever happened to your pointless existence that was wasted on bullying and rebelling. 

So when the school security directs you into the principals office, you aren't scared anymore. You're determined. 

“So, David Strider, what seems to be the problem?” The principal asks as you walk into the room, hands stuffed in the pockets of your jeans. His greying hair was looking especially thinning today, and the brown suit he was wearing just brought that out more. Along with that was his pose, his elbows on the desk with his chin in his hands, looking at you with an unamused expression.

You don't have the best history with this guy, seeming that you had to deal with him a lot in your troublemaking days. He obviously is extremely wary of you, and you're starting to have your doubts again. What if he doesn't believe you? 

You awkwardly stand there, looking uncertainly at a chair. Noticing this, he tells you to sit down, and you do so. 

“Um, I wanted to talk to you about bullying going on in the school.” 

The principal perks an eyebrow, and you feel a bit of anger spark through you. Why can't be fucking believe you this one time?

“Well, thats quite strange being reported from you. You don't exact have, erm... the nicest of permanent records.” 

You narrow your eyes from behind your shades. Of fucking course he has to bring that up. “Yeah, so I got into some shit, but that doesn't mean bull. I'm standing up for someone, why can't you believe that?” 

“Of course, David. How silly it was of me to ever doubt you.” 

Wow, he was a huge dick. “Damn straight.” 

“So, do tell who is getting bullied and the situation, because I have no remembrance of seeing a student get bullied on school property.” 

You're silent for a moment, having a small stare down with him. “Karkat Vantas is bullying John Egbert. It is happening on school property, Karkat just takes him outside and behind the school a little where nobody can see them.” 

“We have security cameras that are watched over by the secretaries. I'm sure they'd alert me if they saw anything suspicio-” 

“Do you ever stop to think that maybe the secretaries don't give a shit about them?” You cut him off with, the anger in your chest starting to burst out. “Do you not see the bruises on him? This is serious!” 

The principal narrows his eyes, which is probably due to your now apparent anger and your constant swearing. Maybe you should tone it down a bit.... 

“While I do not doubt Karkat on hurting another student, why didn't Johnathan come to me and tell me himself? Are you sure you telling me of this apparent 'bullying' isn't a product of a fight between you and Karkat?” He taps his fingers on his desk, thinking. “You two were known to be quite close, so therefore the only reason I could ever see you telling me this is for revenge.” 

You stand up, your hand slamming on the desk. “This is not for revenge, that is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard.” 

You cut off the principal's hiss of “David, stop swearing.” with another slap of your hand to the desk. 

“Listen to me, I'm doing this for John. I've changed, okay? Sure, Karkat and I got into a fight, but that's because I realized how big of a-” You pause for a moment. “ _jerk_ he is. He is legitimately hurting my _best friend_ , and I want to do something about it. The reason he is out with a concussion is because of Karkat!” 

The principal is silent for a moment, pondering over your words. “I believe you, David.” 

You let out a sigh of relief, sitting down again. The principal leans forward, a frown etched on his face. 

“However,” He begins. “though I believe you, I cannot help. As I said before, I am aware that Karkat has a record of hurting others, but I can never do anything because of the lack of evidence. A bruise could mean anything, and we can't just go around crying wolf or else innocent people could end up getting suspended.” He gives you a sad look. “I'm sorry, David, but unless you get proof of Karkat hurting Johnathan, I'm afraid I cannot do anything.”

You freeze. “So unless I get video evidence or something, you can't do _anything_?” 

“I'm afraid so.” 

You stand up stiffly, pushing back the chair. “Thanks.” You say in a monotone voice, then turn to leave the office, trying to comprehend what exactly you're going to do.

You're going to have to get Karkat hurting John on tape, or else you can never stop him. 

**===== >John: _slowly_ get better from your dumb concussion**

Concussions really fucking suck, you find out by the end of your four weeks stuck in your dark room with the shades pulled down as lay on your bed and do _absolutely nothing_. 

You're not allowed to watch movies or play games, and it is doctors orders to have you sit in your pitch black room for four fucking weeks. The most exciting part of your day is when your Nanna comes in to give you more soup that you puke back up for the first week back home. 

The constant headache isn't too fun either, but by the end of the four weeks, it eventually fades enough so that you are deemed better. 

The day the doctor says you're officially better, you instantly whip out your phone and text Dave, asking him to come over. 

Okay, so it's a bit pathetic that you instantly go to Dave, but you can't help it! You haven't seen him in _four weeks_ , and you miss him like crazy! Besides, he always makes you laugh which in turn makes you feel better, and you really need that now that you're finally out of the dark and into the light once more. 

Driving back home, you see Dave waiting on your front step, and you don't even bother to contain your grin as you hop out of the car and run up in front of Dave, bouncing on your heels. 

Dave smiles a bit as you run up, standing up and nodding to you. “Sup Egbert? Haven't seen you in like, a couple days. Weird.” 

You roll your eyes, grinning so wide your cheeks hurt. 'Try a couple of weeks.' 

“Yeah.” Dave says, and you're at a loss. Should you hug him? Would that be weird? 

But he's standing all tall and lanky and oh-so huggible in front of you, and you can't help yourself. You've missed the guy, okay?! 

So when you lurch forward and throw your arms around him, butterflies immediately erupt in your stomach as he wraps his arms around you just as quickly. So your crush hasn't faded, you noticed. It's still fucking sitting in the same spot it was four weeks ago, chilling there like it never left. 

Finally, you have to pull back from the hug, in order not to creep out Dave. Though you'd very much rather keep your arms around him, you don't want to scare him away with your homo for him. You can't lose him right when you got him back! 

You decide to take a chance, a stupid blush creeping up in your neck while you sign: 'I missed you.' 

God, you feel like an idiot. Why the fuck are you blushing? This isn't an anime, you don't _blush_ what the _fuck_ \- 

The stupid-ass blush only gets deeper when Dave smirks, leaning against the side of your house. “I missed you too, Egboob. A man needs his daily dose of derp or else he'll get deathly ill, and let me tell ya, I was close to _dying_ , dude. I braved through it though, y'know? Gotta stay strong for my bffl.” 

You roll your eyes, smiling fondly. You see his ability to go off on dramatic rants hasn't changed in the past four weeks. 

'Wanna play video games?' 

– 

Two hours in to your totally sick video game playin' party, you notice something off about Dave. 

Usually, when the two of you have your legendary video game tournaments that last for hours on end, Dave usually doesn't stop yelling at the video game until hour five. The fact that his yelling isn't as strong (and _wordly_ ) as normal was really confusing you, and you put the game on pause, ignoring Dave's protests.

'Dude, what's with you?' You sign, shifting to look directly at him. 'Is something wrong?' 

He shrugs half-heartedly. “I dunno, it's nothin'. Just thinking about some shit s'all.” 

You raise an eyebrow. 'Care to share?' 

“Nah.” 

'Dave.' 

“What?”

'Tell me!' 

“Nah.” 

'Dave.' 

“ _What?_ ” 

'Tell me, you ass!' 

“Egbutt, _shut up_.” 

You put on your best fake-pout, jutting out your lip and giving Dave your best puppy eyes. You are downright fuckin' _adorable_ , Dave definitely can't withstand this. 

He, however, proves you wrong, and gives you his best blank-face in return. You eventually give up, huffing angrily while you punch his shoulder lightly. 

'Why can't you just tell me? I thought we were bffls. Bffls tell each other everything, Dave.' 

Dave keeps his pokerface intact, but you can tell he's pondering your words. “I dunno, Egbert. It's not the best of news.” 

Your stomach drops, and you can tell Dave notices, because his lips turn downwards. “It's nothing too bad, it's just... disappointing.” 

'Is it about me?' 

“Well, obviously.” 

'Then you have to tell me! I have a right to know.' 

Dave sighs, rubbing his eyes from behind his shades tiredly. “You're gonna get angry at me.” 

'I won't.' 

“Yeah you will. You're gonna get all pissy 'cause I'm 'damaging your pride' or whatever.” 

You narrow your eyes, a serious look etched on your face. The fuck did Dave do? 

'Dave. Tell me right now.' 

“Ugh, fine.” He rubs at his eyes again. “So I might have went to the principal and told him that Karkat was bullying you.” 

You punch him in the shoulder, hard this time. He grunts, rubbing his shoulder and mumbling about how that hurt. 

'Dude! What the fuck! You have to tell me these things before you fucking do them!' 

“You had a concussion for _four weeks._ ” 

'When did you do this?' 

“Uh... yesterday?” 

You punch him in the shoulder yet again, and he lets out a loud “Ow!”, glaring at you. 

'I can handle myself!' 

“No you can't.” 

'Yes I can!' 

Dave lets out another dramatic sigh. “Whatever you say, captain tough-ass. The point is, I still told the school.” 

You pause, your heart beating faster. 'What did they say?' 

As tough as you think you are, you really fucking want Karkat to be suspended. You want it to end, and though you keep denying it, it'd make you happy if he got what he deserved. 

Dave pauses, hesitant, which makes the dread in your stomach curl tightly. Obviously it's not a good thing. 

“They told me that they can't do anything unless I get evidence.” 

You blink. 'How're you going to do that?' 

Dave frowns, an upset look crossing his face. “The only thing I can think of that would really do the trick is me filming a bit of Karkat hurting you physically.” 

You both don't speak, and you find yourself curing your hands into fists a bit. 'I don't want you to see that again.' 

“John, I want to _help_ -” 

'I don't want you to see it, Dave!' You sign angrily, scowling at him. 'It's bad enough that you know about it, I don't want you to fucking be there while I get my ass kicked.' 

“Can you fucking put your pride aside for _two fucking minutes_ while I try to help you? John, you had a concussion because of this, you need help! This has gone way too far, and it _needs to stop_. I'm helping you because I care about you a lot, okay?! And I don't want you to get hurt!” 

His words hit you directly in the heart, and as you glare at him, you feel your eyes start to water up. 

You slightly freak out, because _no no no you're not crying in front of DAVE of all people_ , but by the time you can even think of stopping, tears are running steadily down your cheeks. 

Dave's face visibly softens, and he shifts forward to awkwardly hug you while you stiffen in his grip, trying with all your might to stop crying. 

But you can't, you can't fucking stop because that is exactly what you needed to hear. Dave _cares_ , and Dave wants to fucking help you, and you've never experienced that. For the first time since you've entered the school, someone finally wants to stick up for you, whether you like it or not. And for some reason, you've never felt more cared about in your whole entire life. You're mute, you've had no friends until recently, and you're nothing special, yet here Dave is. 

You finally bring up your hands to hug him back, and you push your face into Dave's shirt while you continue to cry. 

“Are you okay? Do you want to lay down?” Dave asks softly, and you nod a bit. The position you two are in is extremely uncomfortable on your back, but you need this right now. You really need to be hugged, you guess. 

Dave helps you up off the ground, leading you to your bed while you continue to cry, not even bothering to try to stop at this point. When you finally reach it, you lay down immediately, crawling under the covers and burying your face into your pillow. 

You feel Dave sit on your bed, but he doesn't lay down next to you, respectively keeping his distance. You miss the soft material of his shirt, though. It made you feel better. _He_ makes you feel better just being close to you, because you just... wow, you like him a lot. Gay homo feelings and everything, and fuck you are falling down your insane amounts of sappy and lame. You feel like an idiot, but you bring your head up from your pillow and your hands to sign. 

'Can you lay down next to me?' 

Dave doesn't question you, or freak out, or really do anything, just keeps a straight face as he shifts down to lay next to you wrapping himself with the covers like you did. 

He then turns to you, his eyebrow perked. “You wanna cuddle or somethin'? No homo or anythin', dude, it's just that we're best bros and all and I just wanna make you feel bett-” 

You cut him off by shifting closer and wrapping your arms around his middle, burying your face in his chest. You can't help but be reminded of the night, and that feeling gets stronger while he wraps his arounds around you as well, bringing you closer. 

It's silent between you two, or at least you're not signing and Dave isn't rambling on about something. Your arms are wrapped around each other and your face is pushed in his chest while your tears finally begin to stop, and you lay there until you're just left sniffling and sighing. 

“All cried out there, bro?” Dave asks from above you, and you feel the vibrations of his voice from your position on his chest. It's probably one of the best feelings ever. 

You nod, and you feel him chuckle a bit. “So...” Dave begins awkwardly, and you finally pull your face back from his chest to look up at him. You see his cheeks are a bit red, and you internally freak out. 

_Oh no, he probably thinks you're annoying or he knows you have a crush on him or he's creeped out and never wants to see you again-_

“So, like, do you want me to, uhm.” He scrunches his nose up a bit, and you decide it's probably the cutest thing ever in your haze of flippin' the fuck out. “Like, kiss your bruises or somethin'?” Immediate relief spreads in you. “Like wow, I sound like a fucking jackass right now, and like again no homo like _no homo_ but yeah again I just wanna make you feel better and-” 

You cut off his rant by a roll of your eyes and a small smile. He calms down, and smiles back. “So that's a yes?” 

You nod, and he awkwardly brings his face closer, peaking an eyebrow while you silently giggle. 

“Shut up, I'm tryin' here.” He mumbles, and you just notice that his Texan accent has been extremely noticeable through this whole situation. Before you can bring it up and tease him about it, though, Dave brings his face even close and pecks the first bruise above your eyebrow. 

Your mind goes fuzzy, and all you can do is try not to do anything embarrassing while Dave kisses another one, slowly and softly. You've noticed that the last couple times Dave has kissed your bruises, he's done so more slowly and less embarrassed. You'd like to hope it's because Dave has a crush on you too, but you know that's not the case. It's probably because he's more comfortable with you now, but hey, that's not bad at all. 

His lips go lower, kissing a bruise right next to your nose. You're aware of the fact that you probably have a ton of bruises on your face, which is why you have avoided looking in the mirror lately or going out in public. You don't need your already low self-esteem lowered even fucking _more_ \- 

Your thoughts are immediately cut short when Dave kisses a bruise right on your chin, from where you got socked in the chin by Karkat. 

You feel yourself inhale sharply, your body going tense because _holy fucking shit his lips are so close to yours and fuckfuckfuck_. 

He hasn't moved, his lips still planted on your chin, and you don't even think you're breathing anymore, time frozen in place while you stare down at him pale-faced and wide-eyed, and he looks up at you, an expression on his face that you can't place for your life. 

Slowly, he moves up, but only a centimeter so that your lips are ghosting his. Your mind screeches _WHAT THE EVER-LOVING FUCK IS HE DOING?!_ and _HOLY SHIT I THINK HE'S GOING TO FUCKING KISS YOU WHAT THE FUCK?!_

And just as quick as you had time to mentally flip out, your mind is shut off, your thoughts a huge piece of nothing, because holy fucking shit.

Dave Strider is kissing you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFF HANGER   
> 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "WHY?" you, the dear reader, scream at me. "WHY DIDN'T YOU UPDATE FASTER?! WHY?!"  
> i begin to sweat nervously, looking away from you, the dear reader. "because, um..."  
> you continue to stare at me while i begin to panic. why DIDN'T i update sooner? why DIDN'T I???!??!??!  
> "because..... zoo wee mama" 
> 
> and that is the answer to all your problems. the zoo wee mama.
> 
>  
> 
> [YOU MIGHT WANT TO RE-READ THE LAST CHAPTER HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/783771/chapters/1693281)

**======= > Dave. What the fuck are you doing?! **

You're thinking the exact same thing. 

What the fuck _are_ you doing? 

Oh yeah, that's right! You're fucking _kissing your best friend_. 

So yeah, let's rewind this shit to figure out exactly what happened. You were comforting John in his time of need, and then all of the sudden you're macking on him? 

Coming back to reality, you push him away roughly, hearing a soft “oof” of breath coming out of John as he lands a few inches from you on the bed. 

He's looking up at you wide-eyed and pale, and you realize with a jump that he's _scared_ right now. John is scared of you. John, the mute boy you would take a bullet for, is scared of you. 

And maybe he should be. 

You stand up quickly, your hands soothing your hair out and resting above your eyes, digging in hard as the realization finally hits you fully. 

Oh no. 

Oh no no no no NO. 

“No.” You finally voice aloud, and John is staring at you with question in his eyes. 

“No.” You repeat again, pulling your hair roughly. “No no no no no. John, that wasn't supposed to happen, that _wasn't supposed to happen._ ” 

John looks like a kicked puppy, but you can't take time to think about that in your haze of freaking the fuck out. 

“It didn't mean anything, okay? It was a mistake, a total mistake, I'm sorry I'm so fucking sorry...” 

And then you're out the door. 

You don't know the next time you'll see John. 

–

You have some thinking to do. 

When you kissed John, you don't know how you felt, and you don't really want to think about how it felt. All you can remember are his soft lips that tasted like the skittles the two of you were eating before and _no no no no no...._

You're currently face-down in your pillow after practically running home and immediately going into your room and flopping down on your bed, groaning angrily. You fucked up. You dun goofed. 

You release another loud groan, and after a few minutes, you hear the door of your room open and close softly. 

You don't look up to see who it is, because frankly you do not currently give a shit who it is unless it is John. Because then you would probably flip out again. 

Finally gaining the willpower to lift your head up, you're met by the sight of your brother, his pointy shades off and eyebrows up. You scowl. 

“The hell do you want?” 

He scoffs. “You kidding? That groan was so loud that I could fucking hear it. And I figured you were either having a mental breakdown or masturbating, and I figured you couldn't jack off when you looked so pissed coming in. So mental breakdown it is.” 

Letting out a long sigh, you place you face in the previous position it was before, which was suffocating in your pillow. You then hear Dirk sigh, and poke at your back. 

“I'm sorry for being sarcastic in your time of need or whatever. Do you wanna talk about it?” 

You shake your head from where it is in the pillow. 

“You sure?” 

You nod. 

“ _Really_ sure?” 

You nod again. 

“Really _really_ sure?” 

Moaning loudly, you sit up and glare at Dirk, who is smirking at your obvious annoyance with him. 

“I don't want to talk about it, Dirk. Go away.” 

“Just tell me. You know I can fix any problem.” 

You pause. He is right there. You usually come to Dirk when you have issues, mainly because the dude is so good with figuring out how to solve problems. 

“I kissed John.” You say, avoiding eye contact with Dirk. Saying it out loud makes it more real, and you feel a slight shiver run through you. You kissed John. 

“So? What's the big deal?” 

You glare at him like he's stupid. “I. Kissed. John.” 

“And?” 

“Best friends don't kiss each other!” 

Dirk rolls his orange eyes, a small smirk forming on his lips again. He can make you feel pretty small sometimes compared to him, like you're an idiot and he's all-knowing. Which, granted, is actually sort of true. 

“From what I've heard, you kiss John all the time. His bruises, am I right?” 

You narrow your eyes. “Where did you hear that fro-” 

“Not important. The fact of the matter is that you have kissed John before. It might not have been where he sticks his food but it was on him. A kiss is a kiss, Dave. Normal people don't kiss their best friends bruises, they tell them to suck it up. And you don't do that. Ever wonder why?” 

You blink. 

“Because maybe you like John as more than a friend. Obviously you're not a stranger to the concept of homosexuality, am I right?” He raises his eyebrows and mouthes “Karkat”, and you feel your face flush. “So why is this such a big deal?” 

“Because... because it's John. He probably doesn't like me, he probably isn't even _gay_ -” 

But then it hits you that he is. You remember the day you asked him, and he said it was none of your business. No “straight” guy would ever not want to say they're straight, right? 

Dirk raises his eyebrows at you again, and you shift awkwardly. 

“Think about your feelings, dude. Think about John. Think about his dick, I don't know.” and with those words of wisdom, Dirk leaves. 

You have a lot of thinking to do. 

**===== >John: Get it over with**

A week after the Dave incident, which you don't like to think about, you order a tiny recording device. One that could fit in, you don't know, a hat. Which is very hard to see. Which means you can record anyone without them knowing. 

Like Karkat. 

Dave hasn't spoken to you since he kissed you- thinking about that still makes you sad but gives you butterflies at the same time- so you've decided to take matters into your own hands and end this Karkat thing for good. You'll record him hurting _you_ , and swallow your pride and give it to the principal. 

A while back, you found Karkat's chum handle from other people, and you never thought you'd have to use it until today. 

**\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]\--**

EB: hello, karkat.   
CG: WHAT THE FUCK?  
CG: WHO IS THIS?   
EB: john egbert.   
CG: WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK DO YOU WANT?  
CG: HOW DID YOU EVEN GET MY HANDLE?!  
EB: not important. just meet me in the park in 30 minutes, okay?  
CG: FINE WHATEVER. 

**\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]\--**

– 

this is john egbert. this is video proof that karkat vantas hurts me. You hold your phone up to the camera long enough for the text to be read, then place it atop your head, taking a huge breath. You're waiting for Karkat to meet you here, your fists clenching and unclenching. You really hope this works out. 

Finally, Karkat comes into view, wearing a dark grey hoodie, dark circles under his eyes. He doesn't look angry, he just looks tired. 

“What do you want, Egbert?” He asks, but theres no bite to his words, just exhaustion.

You're a bit caught off guard, but you stand your ground anyway. You take out your phone and type. 

the fight was a tie. 

“And?” 

and i want to finish it.

To your complete amazement, Karkat sighs. “I don't feel like fighting.” 

You pause, disbelief crossing your face. why not? i thought you hated me. 

Karkat rubs his eyes, and the movement faintly reminds you of Dave. “Since that last fight I've realized that I didn't hate you, Egbert. You were my punching bag, and it's time for me to admit it.” He looks up into your eyes. “I'm not asking for you to hate me any less, because trust me, you fucking should for all the shit I did to you. All I'm telling you is that I don't hate you, and me hurting you isn't your fault.” 

You pause, not moving for a bit. then whose fault is it?

“It's a combination of both me and my dad's fault. It's my dad for being a complete drunkass shitstain to me, and mine for reacting so horribly to it.” 

You nod. though i don't forgive you just yet, i understand 

“That's all I'm asking.” 

It's quiet between you two, and finally Karkat speaks up again. 

“I never fully figured out why you're mute. Is it a mental block?” 

no, it's a physical one. my vocal chords were damaged from birth.

Karkat's face twists. “And I would try to hurt you until you cried out. But you couldn't. It was impossible. It would have gone on forever if I didn't get bored...” Karkat trails off and squeezes his eyes shut. “Terezi helped me get anger management, and I'm a lot better now, and holy shit, John, I'm so fucking sorry.” 

you're not a bad person, karkat. we all make mistakes. i don't know if i'll ever be able to forigve you, but i understand. 

Karkat nods shakily, and you give a silent goodbye with the wave of your hand, walking in the direction that you came. You take off your hat with shaky fingers, and look at the camera. Guess you won't be needing that after all, because you're done. Karkat's okay, you're okay, you all won. 

So why do you feel like crying? 

**==== >Dave: Need time alone**

You never log onto pesterchum anymore, mainly because you're afraid. You're afraid of John, the mute kid with a silly grin. You're terrified of him, and how he makes you feel. 

You avoid him at school, though it's ending soon. You don't see Karkat bothering him, in fact you don't see Karkat bothering anybody. It almost makes you suspicious, but you don't feel like getting into that drama again anytime soon. 

After a week of thinking, you've decided that you like John. As more than a friend. 

And you don't know what to do about it. 

You could always do the non-pussy way and of course _go up to him and tell him how you fucking feel_ , but that's too complicated for you. Everything is too complicated for you, because you make things way harder than they need to be. 

Your name is Dave fucking Strider, and you are at a loss of what to do about John Egbert. 

Until he shows up at your door one day, a hard look in his eyes that you can't look away from. He's begging not to be ignored any longer, and you can't say no to him. Ever. 

'Dave' He signs, stepping into your doorway, his hands shaking with his signing. 'I love you.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this was short. i wrote this all tonight, when i finally got out of the writers block i've been in for so long. 
> 
> i left you on a cliffhanger, but this will be the last. this fic is ending very soon!
> 
> i won't be leaving with nothing, though! i wrote a rose/kanaya fic which could be found [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/943476) and im currently working on a collaboration with my friend hannah on a dirk/john fic that will be up VERY soon! plus, i'm gonna write the sister fic to this one when i'm done, and i have another fic lined up after that : ) i won't stop writing, i promise. i just get stressed out sometimes!


	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, at least i finally finished it.
> 
> **you might want to read the chapter before this!!**
> 
> this is the epilogue.

**==== > Be Dave the stupid day John confesses his feelings (fina-fucking-lly) **

It was a sunny day, one that made you want to go outside and take a deep breath, taking in the sweet smell of the season. You, of course, don't do that, mainly because you were not lame as hell. Also, because you were afraid if you go outside you'll run into John. 

It's been a while since you last talked to him. You did a lot of thinking, and all that thinking ended up in you realizing that you're literally a fucking idiot and that you've liked John all along. Even in the beginning, when he wormed his way into your life with his dumb overbite and blue eyes. 

Sure, if you asked past-douchebag Strider about it, with his stupid smug smirk and his devotion to Karkat Vantas, he'd say that John was nothing but a pest. A stupid bug in his life that he had to deal with on a daily basis. 

But that all changed. 

The day John Egbert showed up on your door signing that he loved you- it was such a dramatic change from your more-hate-than-love relationship you had in the beginning. The sad part is you almost slammed the door in his face at first, but he stuck his foot in, grinning at you even though any other person- or even past him- would have taken offense. But it's been weeks, and John knew that you didn't feel the same about him as everybody else. So you just opened the door without a word, letting him slip past you and head up to your room. You hear Dirk greet him from the top of the stairs, and smirk down at you. 

The rest of the day you spent talking to John about feelings, and then when that was over, the two of you watched a movie. 

He kissed you halfway through it. 

–

The two of you became boyfriends, walking to school everyday with your hands clasped together tightly, glaring at anyone who dare give you a second look. It's not like anything they could ever think of saying mattered anyway- you don't give a shit, and any words that could ever affect John were long used by Karkat, making them noneffective anymore. 

Speaking of Karkat, you only see him one more time for the rest of your life. Walking home from school on the last day of senior year- actually. Right when your brain makes you aware that it was- in fact- Karkat Vantas standing in front of you, you socked him right in the face. So hard he actually sinked to the ground, and John had to pry you off of him, telling you that it was alright and that Karkat meant well. 

It took some getting used to, letting your demons go like that. Letting the months of torture you had to help John go through slip through your fingers as Karkat tries everything he can to make it up for you. You don't think he ever can, but you at least believe him. Not forgive him. You don't think either you nor John could ever forgive him, but you can at least sleep knowing he's okay. You're okay. John's okay. 

In the end, everybody is okay. All those months of anger, and you're all fine. 

Out of everybody though, you think, you must be the happiest. Because you have John, as cheesy and stupid as that sounds. Actually, it's the stupidest thing you've ever said. But you mean it. 

Because in the end, you fell hard for the mute boy with the beautiful grin. 

And you never stop, even as the years go on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short ending to a longly drawn out story
> 
> thanks for everyone who stuck with this story! even though the month long hiatuses and the many excuses- you guys are amazing. i'll be sure to go through the story and fix stuff sometime, so it'll just sit on ao3 for the rest of it's sad life
> 
> thanks everybody!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! a comment and kudo would be lovely!  
> my tumblr is [here. follow me if you wish to : )](http://johnegdaddy.tumblr.com/)


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